For Every Action
by GoofyGal2008
Summary: Two weeks into her suspension, an unexpected phone call leaves Meredith with a decision to make. Feeling betrayed by the hospital she trusted, she takes a leap of faith, never imagining the direction her life would turn, all because of one choice. Post-13.13; explores the unexpected consequences of the recent changes at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I know, it's been ages since I had a new multi-chapter Grey's story. And yes, I am still working on my older stories and will be updating those as time allows (especially The Rest is History, which is in the middle of a rewrite). I probably shouldn't even be posting this one with all of my unfinished works, but sometimes you get hit with an idea and it just takes over until you sit down and get it out of your head. And since it's dealing with the current (mid-season 13) storyline, I thought I'd go ahead and get it posted now before the "moment" passes, so to speak.

This story picks up about two weeks after Meredith's suspension. I have a bad feeling that this week's episode will see Bailey somehow talking Meredith into taking her job back (without Bailey ever admitting she was wrong, which I firmly believe that she was). I hope that's not the case, and Meredith sticks to her guns, but if that is the direction the show goes, it's certainly not the direction this story is going to go!

I've got some great ideas planned for this story, but essentially, it explores how Bailey's actions at GSMH and the (in my opinion, shoddy) implementation of Eliza Minnick's residency reforms could have long-lasting and entirely unexpected consequences - both personally and professionally - for everyone connected to the hospital. Some long-ago characters will reappear, and most of the current cast will feature in at least some way, but as always for me, the focus is on Meredith and her "family".

Please enjoy and let me know what you think! I make no guarantees on the frequency of updates (I've learned the hard way that those promises come back to haunt me), but I will likely have chapter 2 up in a day or two, as it's already almost entirely written.

* * *

The sun was setting as Meredith Grey poured herself a glass of wine and looked around her messy kitchen. She'd had all day of nothing to do - all week, really - but she couldn't bring herself to be bothered to clean it. Maggie would have a fit, she was sure of it, but at this point, she just didn't care. Maggie got to go to work in the morning and feel like she was actually accomplishing something, so if she didn't like the mess, she could clean it herself or go find a new place to live.

The first few days of her suspension, Meredith had actually enjoyed sleeping in a bit, playing all day with the kids, having no one to answer to for her time. That had, of course, quickly worn off, and as Zola went off to school in the morning, Bailey started begging to go back to daycare to see his friends. So Alex had taken to bringing the kids with him in the morning, which left Meredith quite literally all on her own all day long until she'd briefly swing by the hospital to pick them up at the end of the day. At this point, she was convinced that Miranda Bailey was just waiting for her to go stir crazy so she'd apologize, fall into line, and beg to return to her job.

"Not gonna happen," she muttered to herself, taking a sip of her wine as she sat down on the couch to wait for Alex and Maggie to get home. Her phone ringing caught her off guard, and she frowned at the unfamiliar number that flashed on the screen when she pulled it from her pocket.

"Meredith Grey," she said, pressing the phone to her ear.

"Meredith! Oh my goodness, it's good to hear your voice after all this time," an overly friendly, almost chirpy, female voice rang out over the line, and Meredith had a sinking feeling of recognition in her stomach. "How the heck are you? It's Sydney Heron, by the way."

"Sydney," Meredith said, almost feeling like she had to force a smile on her face just to speak to the woman. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh gosh, it's just been so long since we chatted," Sydney said. "I was so sorry to hear about Derek, it just broke my heart. He was such a nice man. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to make it to the service."

"It's alright," Meredith said, wondering exactly where this conversation was going.

"Well, any who, I don't mean to pry, and I know I'm over at Seattle Pres now, but it's a small little surgical family here in Seattle, you know that, and I heard tell from a little birdie that you might have had a little difference of opinion with Miranda Bailey."

Meredith sighed. "Uh huh," she muttered.

"Miranda's a wonderful surgeon, very talented, and she was an excellent teacher, just excellent," Sydney continued. "If she could have just embraced a bit of healing with love, she might have come a long way. People are what matters, Meredith, patients and staff. It's just a shame when the leaders of an institution forget that, isn't it?"

"What do you want, Sydney?" Meredith asked impatiently.

Sydney chuckled. "Right to the point, no chit chat," she laughed. "I remember that about you, Meredith Grey, you haven't changed one bit, have you? Except I hear you were just rocking it as Chief of General Surgery until that little kerfuffle with Miranda. Now, I don't want to overstep my bounds here, and I know your name is on the hospital over there at Grey-Sloan, and you're a part owner, but…"

"Sydney, what are you getting at?"

"Seattle Pres is looking for a new Chief of General Surgery," Sydney said.

Meredith frowned. "What happened to Mark Hernandez?"

"Mark got a fantastic job offer in Texas, he couldn't turn it down," Sydney said. "I'm filling in as Interim until his replacement is found."

"Don't you want to be his replacement?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, no!" Sydney laughed. "Oh, you probably don't know, we've kept things so quiet, I'm sorry…Mark Hernandez is my husband. I only agreed to stay behind as part of the agreement with Seattle Pres so they'd let him out of his contract here. The sooner we get a replacement in, the sooner I get to go to Texas to be with my husband. And Meredith, it's been four months, they've interviewed 7 candidates, and they've hated all of them. Quite frankly, so have I, and I love this program too much to leave it with someone who isn't worthy. But I'm seven months pregnant, and I really like to move before I have the baby, Meredith."

"Sydney, I have a contract with Grey-Sloan," Meredith pointed out.

"Meredith, contracts were made to be broken," Sydney said. "Bring it with you when you meet the board tomorrow, we'll have our lawyers take a look at it."

"Sydney, I'm not coming to meet the board tomorrow."

"Why? What's holding you back, Meredith?" Sydney asked. "Miranda Bailey clearly doesn't have any loyalty to you or anyone else who made her program what it is. I mean really, what do you owe her? I've heard a lot about what's going on over there, and if half of it is true, she's creating a dictatorial environment, Meredith, and that's not good for the patients or the staff. And I think if you think about it, you know I'm right."

"I don't know," Meredith said hesitantly.

"Just come meet the board tomorrow," Sydney said. "No commitments, just come hear what Seattle Pres has to offer. If nothing else, it's a free lunch, and who doesn't love one of those?"

Meredith was surprised when she found herself almost smiling at Sydney's cheerful persistence. "I guess lunch couldn't hurt," she conceded.

"Fantastic!" Sydney practically squealed in delight. "I'll meet you in front of the hospital at eleven, I'll walk you up to the boardroom myself."

* * *

Three days later, Meredith found herself sitting at her kitchen table, staring a neatly typed letter she'd have never imagined herself writing. With a shaking hand, she picked up her pen and signed her name to the bottom of it. Folding it up, she placed it in an envelope and sat back at in her chair. Holding the envelope in her hand, she stared at it and wondered how something so small was about to turn her whole world upside down.

"You're up early," Alex Karev observed as he walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Maggie was in the OR pretty late last night, so she said she'll take Bailey and Ellis to daycare when she goes in later."

Meredith nodded. "Okay," she said, not looking away from the envelope.

"And I'm still good taking Zola to school this morning, but…" Alex trailed off as he looked at Meredith. "Meredith? Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Meredith asked in confusion. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Alex frowned as he grabbed the cup of coffee he'd just poured and walked over the table. "Are you fine, or are you Meredith-fine?" he asked.

"I don't know," Meredith admitted.

"Look, it's been two weeks, I think this suspension thing has gone on long enough," Alex said. "Why don't you come in with me today, and you can go talk to Bailey? I'm sure she'll give you your job back."

"I am going to talk to Bailey today," Meredith said.

"Good. That's good," Alex said. "Have you thought about what you're going to say? How you're going to apologize?"

"I'm not going to apologize," Meredith said.

"Meredith, I agree with what you said to her about Webber, don't get me wrong, but I'm not sure she'll lift your suspension if you don't apologize."

"Alex, I'm not going to ask her to lift my suspension," Meredith said.

"Then what…"

Meredith sighed and held up the envelope. "This is my letter of resignation," she said. "I'm done, Alex."

"Meredith, you can't just walk away," Alex said, practically stunned speechless by her unexpected statement.

"I look at that department, and I don't recognize it," Meredith said. "That is not the program that we trained in, that is not the program that I've been a part of for the last ten years. The building's the same, some of the people are the same, but that is not the program that I loved. That program is dead and gone, Alex, and I could stay another ten years and it's not coming back."

"What are you going to do?" Alex asked anxiously, a sudden thought occurring to him. "You're not moving, are you? Because if you are, you better be prepared for me to come with you this time."

Meredith smiled. "I'm not moving, Alex," she assured him. "Actually, I'm taking a job at Seattle Pres."

"Seattle Pres? Seriously?" Alex asked skeptically.

"I know, we rag on them all the time," Meredith said. "But they're a level one trauma center, they've got a well-respected residency program, a brand new surgical suite with state of the art equipment…and they're almost doubling my salary. Plus, they're really the only other big name in town, and I don't want to move."

"I'm going to miss you," Alex said.

"Alex, we live in the same house," Meredith reminded him.

"Yeah, but we won't be working in the same place," he said. "It won't be the same."

"Don't you get all sentimental on me now, Alex," Meredith said. "I need you to put on the brave face when I have to tell Maggie."

Alex scoffed. "Yeah, good luck with that," he said, taking a sip of his coffee as they sat in silence for a moment. "I am going to miss you, Meredith."

Meredith smiled sadly. "Yeah," she said, squeezing the hand he reached out to her. "I'll miss you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! It's nice to know that there are people interested in this story and the direction it is going. As promised, the second chapter was essentially written with the first (they were originally one chapter, but I felt this section deserved its own chapter), which is why it is being posted so quickly - so as much as I would like to be that speedy, please don't expect all future updates to be less than 24 hours apart! I almost waited to post this, but I really wanted to get my version of the Bailey/Meredith confrontation out there before tonight's episode airs, so here it is!

* * *

Early that afternoon, Meredith found herself having to remind herself to breathe as she walked down the hallway toward Miranda Bailey's office. The desk in front of the office was empty, indicating that the chief's assistant was probably at lunch, but she knew the slightly cracked door meant that Dr. Bailey was in her office.

Taking a final deep breath to steel her nerves, Meredith knocked quickly on the door.

"Come in."

Meredith was surprised by how nervous she was as she pushed open the door, but she tried to shake that feeling off as she stepped into the office.

"Meredith," Miranda Bailey said in surprise, setting down her pen and leaning back in her chair. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I won't take up much of your time, Dr. Bailey," Meredith said. "I'm sure you've got a lot on your plate right now."

Bailey frowned. She'd known Meredith Grey for the better part of a decade, but there was something new in her voice that afternoon that she couldn't quite put her finger on just yet. "Actually, I was planning to come see you this afternoon," Bailey said.

"Oh?"

"Please, sit down, Meredith," Bailey said, motioning to a nearby chair. "I think it's about time we talked this whole thing out, like the smart women that we are."

"I think it's a little late for that," Meredith said, remaining in her standing position in front of the desk.

"Meredith, I know that you're upset about the fact that I made Dr. Minnick our new residency director," she began

"We had a residency director," Meredith pointed out.

"And our residency program needed to change," Bailey said. "You were part of the board that hired me to make sure this department was running at its best. I had a job to do, and I had a choice to make. I…"

"You chose wrong," Meredith interrupted.

"Meredith, I think if you'd sit down and look at the data, you'd see that there are some real merits to this teaching methodology," Bailey said.

"You don't have to sell me on the teaching method, Dr. Bailey," Meredith said. "Some people like it. I get that. This isn't about the teaching method. I don't care what Eliza Minnick wanted to implement, you went about it the wrong way. And if you wanted a chief of general surgery who was just going to fall in line without question, even when she thought you were making a mistake, then you hired the wrong woman, because you know me better than that. You _taught_ me better than that."

"How far are you planning to take this, Dr. Grey?" Bailey asked impatiently. "Because there's a difference between loyalty and stubbornness."

"You're right, there is," Meredith agreed. "The problem is, I don't think you understand that any more than you think I understand it."

"Look, Meredith, I expected you to understand that this program had problems, and…"

"I do understand that," Meredith said. "I think everyone here understands that. I'm not upset that you're trying to make changes, Dr. Bailey. You're right, that's exactly what we hired you to do. But I expected you of all people to be respectful in those changes, to treat their implementation with the thought and consideration that they warranted. Instead, you made a knee-jerk decision because Catherine Avery criticized something. You forced Richard out of his position as residency director and then you tried to shove Eliza Minnick down our throats. That is not how you get things done, Dr. Bailey, not in a program like this."

"Meredith, you have to know that I cannot lift your suspension if you're just going to continue this insubordination," Bailey said. "And you are not giving me any indication that you're ready to come back."

"You made your choice, Dr. Bailey, now I'm making mine," Meredith said, looking down at the envelope in her hands before stepping forward and dropping it onto the desk.

"What's this?" Bailey asked, her heart sinking as she opened the letter and read the first few lines. "Meredith…"

"You don't have to worry about my so-called insubordination anymore," Meredith said. "But you should know that we'll all be having a very frank discussion about the direction of this program at the next board meeting."

"Meredith, do you have any idea what you're doing?" Bailey asked, a mixture of hurt and concern in her voice. "At the very least, you have a contract with this hospital. The financial liabilities for breach of that contract would be exorbitant if you tried to practice anywhere else."

Meredith nodded. "I was concerned about that myself," she said. "Turns out I didn't need to worry, though, and I guess I have you to thank for that."

"Excuse me?"

"It turns out there's a clause in my contract, right in the middle, very easy to overlook," Meredith said. "Apparently, it says right there in black and white that if I'm placed on a defined suspension of less than 6 months, my contract stays in place. But if I'm suspended for more than 6 months, or if I'm put on an indefinite suspension, like the one you put me on two weeks ago, I have the option to resign without triggering any breach of contract actions, and I'm free to practice wherever I please without any sort of penalty. Thank goodness for lawyers who read every last word, right?"

"Meredith, you're a talented surgeon," Bailey said. "You cannot throw your career away simply because you feel a sense of loyalty to Richard."

"Do you honestly believe that this is the only place where I can have a career?" Meredith asked incredulously, suddenly finding her confidence in her decision growing. "I'll have you know that I already have another job lined up. What did you think was going to happen when you suspended me? I was just going to sit around until I got fed up, caved, and fell into line?"

"Meredith…"

"The thing is, Dr. Bailey, I think I'm starting to see that this didn't have anything to do with Richard or Eliza Minnick."

"What are you talking about?" Bailey asked in confusion.

"If that's what this had been about, you would have had to suspend half the attendings in this department," Meredith said. "But you wanted to send a message that _you_ were in charge, that _you_ had the power. Suspending me sent a message that you couldn't have sent by suspending anyone else."

"Meredith, now you're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" Meredith asked, shaking her head as the pieces finally fell into place for her. "I'm not sure you even knew that's why you were doing it. Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that you would have suspended any other attending for the same thing?"

"Yes," Bailey said. "Yes, I can."

"Then you're delusional," Meredith said. "Because it wasn't just me, Dr. Bailey. April Kepner, Nathan Riggs, Maggie…they all did the same thing. But none of them have their name on the hospital, so there's no power play in suspending one of them, is there? You needed it to be me, so that you could send the message that no one is safe, that everyone had better fall into line or else. Shut up or get out, if you will."

Bailey slowly set Meredith's resignation letter down and stared at the younger woman in surprise. There was an anger and determination in her expression that hadn't been there when she walked in, and that she couldn't recall having seen in a long time, if ever at all.

"Your mistake was in assuming that my loyalty to Richard would extend to the hospital itself and keep me here in spite of the fact that you were using me as a political pawn," Meredith said. "Unless this is what you wanted, and you were trying to force me into resigning. Or maybe…maybe you just thought I was dumb enough to not figure it out. Whichever it was, you were wrong, Dr. Bailey. I love this hospital, and I never imagined myself working anywhere else, but at the end of the day, it's a building. The people here made it what it was to me…the people who put in the time and the effort and the years of labor to build this place up, to make it someplace special to train and to work. It's had its ups and downs over the years, but there's always been a sense of respect and loyalty in this place. That's been slipping away the last couple of months, maybe even the last couple of years, I don't know. And maybe I won't find that anyplace else, but I refuse to continue working for someone who doesn't seem to even understand why it mattered to begin with."

Meredith reached into her pocket and pulled out her badge, giving it one last look before tossing it onto Bailey's desk and walking out, leaving her former mentor shell-shocked in her office, staring at the door Meredith had slammed behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I know it's been a few weeks, but I did warn you that updates wouldn't be nearly as frequent moving forward. I'm currently in the midst of studying for a huge exam, and writing has to take a backseat to that at the moment (writing is fun, but this exam will have a huge impact on my career moving forward, so sadly, priorities have to be followed). I also write in kind of a funny way, where sometimes I'm writing a chapter that's six chapters ahead of where the story is, because that's the part of the story that's in my head right then, and I go back later and fill in the gaps to get there. I don't if that makes sense to anyone else, but that's how I write. It works for me, but it unfortunately doesn't always lend itself to quick updates when all I get is half an hour or so of writing time each day (on a good day).

I know, I probably shouldn't even be putting out stories with a schedule like that, but I do enjoy sharing them as I go, so I hope that explanation makes sense and that those of you who are enjoying this story (or any of my others) will understand and stick with me despite the slow schedule!

Okay, enough babble, back to our story...

* * *

"Did you hear the rumor about Meredith?"

Jackson Avery looked up from the chart he was reviewing on his table while seated at a small table in the corner of the cafeteria and frowned as Arizona Robbins sat down across from him.

"What about Meredith?"

"One of the nurses in the NICU told me that she quit," Arizona said.

Jackson nearly dropped his tablet, fumbling a bit as he set it down. "No way," he said. "She wouldn't do that. Meredith Grey _is_ this hospital."

"Which is kind of why we thought Bailey wouldn't suspend her, remember?" Arizona asked. "This whole thing is getting crazy."

"What's crazy?" Maggie asked, coming in at the tail end of Arizona's statement as she and Owen sat down at the table with their lunch trays. "Is this about that surgery Minnick gave to Wilson?"

"No," Jackson said. "And don't start her on that, I heard about it all morning. Now she's heard some rumor about Meredith."

"Maggie would know if it's true," Arizona said, turning to Maggie. "There's a rumor on the floor that Meredith quit."

"You've got be kidding me," Owen said in surprise. "Pierce, is that true? Did she say anything to you?"

"Of course it's not true," Maggie said. "Meredith would never quit. She loves this hospital."

"The hospital hasn't exactly loved her back recently," Owen said. "Are you sure she'd stay?"

Maggie hesitated. "No," she admitted. "But she wouldn't just quit, not without a plan. And if she had a plan, she'd have talked to me first."

"Meredith's not exactly a talker," Jackson pointed out.

"I'm her sister, I think I know her well enough to know she wouldn't do this," Maggie insisted, earning skeptical looks from the others. "She wouldn't. She just wouldn't do it."

"Who wouldn't do what?" Alex asked, sinking down into the remaining spot at the table and reaching across to grab a French fry off of Arizona's plate.

"Excuse me," she said in surprise. "Get your own."

"No time," Alex said, talking as he put another fry in his mouth. "Just came out of an emergency appy, I've only got about fifteen minutes before I have to scrub in again. So, who wouldn't do what?"

"Arizona heard a rumor floating around that Meredith quit," Maggie said. "I'm trying to tell them that it's ridiculous, Meredith wouldn't do that. Not without talking to me."

"Huh." Alex nodded and looked away, staring intently at the wall behind Maggie.

"She wouldn't," Maggie repeated.

"You know something, Karev," Arizona said, recognizing the look on his face. "It's true, isn't it? It's not a rumor, she really did quit?"

Alex sighed. "Good news travels fast, I guess," he said.

"She told _you_?" Maggie asked. "But I…"

"Don't get your panties in a wad, Pierce, she didn't seek me out for advice," Alex said. "She only told me this morning, she'd already made her decision by then. I'm sure if you'd been the one to come downstairs before she left, she'd have told you."

"I did see her before she left," Maggie said. "I was going to bring the kids to daycare, remember? She told me she'd take care of it, she was going out anyway. She didn't say a word about quitting her job. I just…why wouldn't she talk to me about this?"

"Because she's Meredith," Alex said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "That's not her style. Yeah, you're her sister, but that doesn't mean she's going to talk every little thing through with you."

"This isn't just some little thing, though," Maggie said. "This is huge. You don't make those sorts of decisions without talking to your family."

"Meredith does," Alex said. "Remember when she disappeared after Derek died? You think she talked that decision through with anyone? Come on, Maggie, think about it."

"She would have talked to me first," Maggie said defensively. "Quitting is a huge decision. I mean, what is she going to do now?"

"If it's true, I really doubt she'll have any trouble landing another job," Owen said.

"Yeah, between her surgical skills and her last name, she's got to be on the top of everyone's hire list," Arizona said. "I mean, I know she doesn't like using her last name, but being Ellis Grey's daughter has got to give her at least a bit of influence."

"She doesn't need that," Alex said. "She's an excellent surgeon all on her own."

"No, I know, I'm just saying, it probably won't hurt when she's trying to get a foot in the door someplace else," Arizona said.

"It's too bad she'll probably have to move," Jackson said.

"Why would she move?" Maggie asked.

"She's not moving," Alex said.

"Where else is she going to practice?" Jackson asked. "Unless she wants to work at a community hospital, but I just can't see Meredith being happy doing that."

"And how do you know she's not moving?" Maggie asked, looking intently at Alex. "Or is that another decision that wasn't worth mentioning to me?"

"It's the same decision," Alex said. "Look, I really don't think she would have resigned if she hadn't been offered something else. And as much as we like to think we're the best, we're not the only academic hospital in town."

"Well, the only place else is…" Arizona's voice trailed off. "Would she really take a job at Seattle Presbyterian?"

"They're not a bad hospital," Owen said. "Their residency programs are up and coming, they've got some good surgical names attached to the program, and their board pass rates across all their departments are better than ours, actually."

"How do you know that?" Arizona asked.

"I used to be chief of surgery, remember?" Owen asked. "It was my job to know about the competition. We like look to look down on them, but that's really a remnant from decades ago when we were the best in the country. Their program is honestly probably equivalent to ours at this point, if not better, the rankings just haven't caught up yet."

"Because they've gone up or we've gone down?" Jackson asked.

Owen shrugged. "Both, probably," he said. "Look, I still believe in our program, and we've certainly got the name recognition that they don't have, which helps attract better residents. But Carol McLaughlin's done a fantastic job over there as chief of surgery, and she's got a good team working under her. From what I hear, Mark Hernandez is building a solid general surgery program there. Word of that is starting to spread, and hiring Meredith would be a very good move for them."

"Meredith's name is on this hospital," Maggie said. "I just can't see her leaving that, especially not to go from chief of general surgery to just another attending over at Seattle Pres."

"She's not going to just be an attending," Alex said, glancing at his phone as he stood up. "Meredith may not want me to say all of this, but with the way this place gossips, it'll be all over by the end of the day anyway. Mark Hernandez moved to Texas a few months ago. They made Meredith chief of general surgery, and they're paying her a hell of a lot more than she was getting here. Look, Maggie, I get that you're upset, but she's your sister. At this point, you ought to know her well enough to know she's not going to spill every little detail, so if you're going to have a fight about this, do it before you come home tonight, because I've got three surgeries this afternoon and I will not be in the mood to play referee when I'm done."

* * *

Meredith closed her eyes as she sat on a bench in front of the hospital and let the sun hit her face. Zola was at school, Bailey and Ellis were at daycare until the end of the day, and she wasn't due at Seattle Presbyterian to sign her contract for another two hours. She felt like she ought to go somewhere, but for the time being, she couldn't think of anywhere she'd rather be than soaking up her last few minutes at this hospital.

"Dr. Grey, you are certainly a sight for sore eyes."

Meredith opened her eyes and turned her head to find Nathan Riggs taking a seat next to her.

"So…you heading in to see the chief?"

Meredith shook her head. "Just came from there."

"Ah," Riggs nodded. "Does this mean you're coming back? Is the suspension over?"

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?" he asked. "You and Bailey still haven't worked this thing out?"

"At this point, I think we've acknowledged that there is no working things out," Meredith said, earning a look of confusion from Riggs. "I resigned."

"You did what?" Riggs asked in surprise. "Really?"

Meredith nodded.

"Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital, with no Dr. Grey?" Riggs shook his head as he leaned back on the bench. "I don't like it."

"It's certainly not something I ever thought would happen," Meredith agreed, staring ahead as they sat in silence for several minutes. "I think this might be good for me, though."

"How so?"

"I think it might be time for a fresh start," Meredith said. "Derek used to tell me that I was attached to this hospital, that it was just a building. Granted, at the time, he was trying to convince me to move across the country with him, and I'm sure that was a lot of the reason for what he said. But sometimes, I look at this place and I wonder if maybe he saw something that I couldn't."

"Like what?"

"There's too much of me tied to this hospital," Meredith said. "Pretty much ever major thing that's happened in my life over the last ten years has happened at this hospital or because of this hospital."

"That sounds like a bit of an exaggeration," Riggs said.

Meredith shook her head. "I fell in love with Derek in this hospital," she said. "We met Zola here. We had Bailey here. I met my sisters here. My mother, Susan, George, Mark, Adele…they all died here. And Charles and Reed and Brooks…come to think of it, someone probably should have warned you when you were hired that doctors at this hospital have an unusually high mortality rate."

Riggs laughed. "I've been to a war zone, I think I'll take my chances."

"Suit yourself," Meredith said with a shrug. "Alex, Cristina, Owen, Callie, Arizona, Richard…all of my friends, every last one of them, I met here. I can't think of a single person in my life not connected to this hospital."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I didn't used to think so, but now I'm not so sure," Meredith admitted. "I've been thinking a lot the last week or so about how different things could have been if I'd just been able to let go of this place a little sooner."

"What would have changed?" Riggs asked.

"I probably would have moved to DC," Meredith said. "If I could have let go of this place, I would have bought a townhouse with Derek and we'd have lived in Foggy Bottom and maybe I would have been okay with being Mrs. Shepherd first instead of Dr. Grey and maybe it all would have worked out, because if I could have done that, he'd still be alive."

"You can't know that."

"He would have been in his lab at the NIH," Meredith said. "He would have been thousands of miles away from that little road, and he wouldn't have been anywhere near that car accident."

"You don't know what would have happened," Riggs repeated. "Maybe he would have been hit by a bus the first day in DC, and then what? You're thousands of miles away from your friends, you've got two little kids and no support system in place, and worst of all, you're living in someplace with a name like Foggy Bottom?"

Meredith laughed and shook her head. "It's stupid, I know," she said. "But this place has had a hold over me from the moment I first walked through those doors. I feel like I've spent my whole career screaming that I'm not my mother, but until I walk away from this hospital, from this place that made her who she was, I can't know that. Until I'm really out someplace where all that matters is me, what I can do in an OR, how well I can run a department, without anyone doing me any special favors…how do I know?"

"You've thought a lot about this," Riggs observed.

"I didn't just decide this on a whim," Meredith said. "I've got three kids, I don't get to do much on the spur of the moment these days."

"So what will you do now?"

"I'm going to Seattle Presbyterian," Meredith said.

"Cavorting with the enemy," Riggs said. "That's a brave move."

"They're not the enemy," Meredith argued. "I still want this hospital to be successful, Nathan, I have a vested interest in that."

"Did Dr. Bailey force you into this?" Riggs asked. "Because we've been supporting Weber, but we can do the same for you. If you want to stay…"

Meredith shook her head. "This is my decision," she said, sighing slightly as she stood up. "It's time for a fresh start, and it's probably long overdue."

"I don't know about that," Riggs said, easing himself up off the bench. "But since we're not going to be working together anymore…"

"No," Meredith interrupted.

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"Yes, I do," Meredith said, shaking her head. "And the answer is no. I'm not going out with you."

"You say that now…"

"And I'll say it every time you ask," Meredith said. "Goodbye, Nathan."

Riggs grinned at her use of his first name. "I'll see you soon, Dr. Grey," he said, winking at her as he started to turn away, pausing when he felt her hand on his arm pulling him back to face her.

Taking a step forward, a part of Meredith was screaming for her to stop, that this could only lead to trouble, but the impulsive, live-in-the-moment Meredith, the one who rarely saw the light of day these days, seemed to win out in that split second, and she leaned up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his. She felt him smile into her lips and his hand had just reached the small of her back when a voice made them both freeze.

"Oh. My. God."

Meredith grimaced slightly as they pulled back and turned to find Maggie standing a few feet away.

"Maggie, I…"

"Don't," Maggie interrupted her sister. "I came looking for you to talk about this ridiculous rumor that you quit. And I find this? You knew how I felt, Meredith. You know, I thought I knew you, I thought we had a relationship, but…I guess when I'm wrong, I'm wrong."

Meredith sighed as Maggie turned and hurried back into the building, sharing a guilty look with Riggs as she tried to figure out whether or not to follow her sister.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Again, thank you all so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows, and for being so patient with my slow updates! Studying continues full-force, so I'm afraid things will continue to be slow for at least a while longer, but I am continuing to work on this story (and my others, when I get a few minutes' break). This is a bit of a shorter chapter, but I hope you all still enjoy it! I can't say exactly when I'll have the next chapter ready, but we'll be diving into Meredith's first day at the new job, and I've got lots planned (and pre-written) for that, so there's a chance it could be as soon as a week or so from now (no promises, though, of course!).

* * *

Meredith let out a sigh of exhaustion as she slipped her key into the lock and let herself into her house that evening. She'd thought about going after Maggie, trying to explain herself right then and there that afternoon, but she knew she was due at Seattle Presbyterian to sign her contract, and it wouldn't have been a good precedent to set to be late for her own contract signing. She'd thought maybe she could get in and out quickly, and make it back to Grey-Sloan before Maggie scrubbed in or left, but after the contract, there'd been people to meet and hands to shake and a surgical floor to tour, and before she knew it, the sun was setting and she was only just leaving the hospital. Her car had been in front of the house when she'd pulled up, though, so she knew the confrontation was coming.

"Hey."

Meredith jumped slightly as she hung her keys on the hook and turned to find Amelia sitting on the couch in the living.

"Is Maggie upstairs?" Meredith asked.

"Yup," Amelia nodded, taking a sip from the soda in her hands. "Hey, can I have her room?"

Meredith frowned. "No, you can't have her room," she said. "It's her room."

"Yeah, but she's not going to be using it anymore," Amelia said. "And I'm sure Alex would like me out of his room."

"I'm sure of that," Meredith said. "What do you mean, she won't be using it anymore?"

"I don't know what you did to her, but she's pretty pissed off," Amelia said. "She came home with a bunch of boxes and muttering something about finding a new place to live."

"Well, that's ridiculous," Meredith said. "No one is moving out."

"I am."

Meredith turned around and shook her head as Maggie slowly made her way down the stairs, dragging a very overstuffed suitcase behind her.

"Maggie, you're not moving out," Meredith said. "Where do you think you're going to go?"

"I don't see why you care," Maggie said. "Or I am supposed to consult you on decisions like this? You know, give you the courtesy you didn't give me?"

"Maggie, that's not fair," Meredith said. "This had nothing to do with you."

"Of course it did," Maggie said. "I thought you were my sister, I thought you understood what that meant."

"Maggie…"

"I just don't understand how you could be so selfish," Maggie said. "I don't understand how you could do this to me."

Meredith tilted her head slightly as she stared at her sister. "Wow," she muttered. "I see it now."

"What?" Maggie asked in confusion.

"My mother," Meredith said. "I've looked, over and over and over again, I've looked at you, and I've tried to see her. I could see Richard, I could see parts of him that came through in how you acted, but I could never see my mother until right now."

"I'm not following," Maggie said. "What did I do that reminds you of Ellis?"

"It's the ego," Meredith said. "The refusal to acknowledge that the world doesn't revolve around you. You're my sister, Maggie, and I do love you, but not everything that happens is about you or even has anything to do with you."

"And that reminds you of Ellis?"

Meredith nodded. "It was always about her," she said. "Never about what I wanted, never about what made me happy. Everything I did, she viewed it as something I did _to_ her. Maggie, I didn't talk to you about moving to Seattle Pres because it didn't have anything to do with you. It's my career, not yours. And yes, I'm sorry you found out the way you did, but I'm not going to discuss every career move I make with you."

"And Nathan?"

"That happened months ago," Meredith said. "Before I knew you were interested. I didn't do it to hurt you, Maggie, but to be perfectly honest, when I made the decision to sleep with him, you were probably the furthest thing from my mind."

"So you've just been screwing him behind my back?" Maggie asked. "When you knew I had feelings for him?"

"It was one time, Maggie, and it was months ago," Meredith said. "And yes, I kissed him today, but it didn't mean anything. Even if did, nothing happened between the two of you, and he doesn't want anything to happen between the two of you. Sometimes, a guy just isn't interested, Maggie, and I am sick and tired of feeling guilty about whatever feelings I might have, just so you don't get yours hurt."

"Well, if that's how you really feel, you should go for it," Maggie said, reaching down and picking up her suitcase. "Who cares what I think? Why should I matter? I'm only your sister."

"Maggie…"

"No, you know what, this is good," Maggie said. "I'm glad I know where I stand with you."

Meredith sighed as Maggie dragged her suitcase toward the door. "Maggie, you don't have to move out," she said.

"You know, I really think I do," Maggie said. "I wouldn't want to stay someplace where I don't matter."

"That is not what I meant, Maggie, and you know it," Meredith said.

"Goodbye, Meredith," Maggie said.

Meredith winced slightly as the door slammed shut behind Maggie. Turning slowly toward the couch, she was surprised to find Amelia still sitting there quietly.

"Am I supposed to go after her?" she asked, stepping into the living room.

"I wouldn't," Amelia said, taking a sip of her soda. "She'll come back when she figures out she's an adult."

"What?"

"Look, they might have given her a driver's license and the right to vote and buy booze and cigarettes and lottery tickets, and she may have a medical degree, but none of that makes her an adult," Amelia said. "She's an only child who never had anyone to argue with and nothing bad has ever really happened to her, not directly. Life has been handed to Maggie Pierce on a silver platter. She's never had to have coping skills for the big stuff, so she doesn't have them for the little stuff either. Why do you think she's always freaking out over the tiniest little thing?"

Meredith frowned skeptically as she sank down on the other end of the couch.

"This could be good for her," Amelia said. "She's got fantasies about the way the world works and somehow she's made it into her 30s without them being shattered. It's time to shove that little birdie out of the nest, Meredith. Until she realizes that speed bumps aren't mountains, and that not everything that happens in the world is intended to harm her or help her, she's never going to grow up and be a functioning adult."

"You're one to talk," Meredith said.

"Hey, my mountains are mountains, thank you very much," Amelia protested. "So, are you going to make me ask?"

Meredith hesitated for a moment. "Fine," she conceded. "You can have her room. Whatever. But you're still going to have to talk to Owen at some point."

"Thank you," Amelia said. "That wasn't what I was talking about, though."

"Oh?"

"Don't play coy, it doesn't suit you," Amelia said. "You and Riggs? Really?"

"Please don't start," Meredith said wearily.

"Was he good?"

"Amelia!"

"What? He's hot," Amelia said. "Come on, I'm not getting any, give me some details."

"No," Meredith said, slowly easing herself up from the couch. "And the only reason you're not getting any is because you won't talk to your husband, so you're not going to get any sympathy from me."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I know, I know, I said this chapter would be up ages ago. I struggled a bit with the second half - it just didn't sound quite right, and kept coming off too harsh. I hope I've managed to get it to a good point, and I hope that you all continue to stick with this story despite the delays. I so appreciate all of you who have been reading and reviewing!

* * *

"I don't wanna stay here!"

Meredith sighed as Bailey grabbed tightly to her leg and started to cry. It had been two weeks since she'd resigned from Grey-Sloan, and in that time, he'd been upset every time she so much as mentioned going to a new daycare. So she'd known it was too good to be true when he'd been excited to get in the car this morning, but it hadn't been until they arrived that she realized when she'd mentioned daycare, he'd assumed they'd be going to Grey-Sloan. Now she stood in the child development center, Ellis still sleeping in her carrier, with her son throwing a fit at the sight of the unfamiliar space.

"I'm so sorry, Elizabeth," Meredith said to the woman at the registration desk. "He's usually great with daycare, he just doesn't like new places. I'm sure in a couple of days…"

"Don't worry about it, Dr. Grey, we've seen it all," Elizabeth assured her, stepping around to the other side of the desk. "Now, I just need you to sign these registration forms, and we'll get them settled in. And I understand you have another child who'll be here some afternoons?"

Meredith nodded. "Zola," she said. "She'll be at kindergarten in the mornings, and she's got some activities in the afternoons, so it'll probably only end up being two or three afternoons a week."

"It's no problem, she's always welcome," Elizabeth said. "We do just ask that you let us know when you drop the kids off in the morning if she'll be joining us that afternoon, and approximately what time. It helps with planning."

"Of course," Meredith said, signing her name to the registration forms and looking down at her son. Crouching down, she gently pried him off her leg and tried to wipe the tears from his face.

"I wanna go home!"

"Oh sweetheart, I know you do," Meredith said. "But I need you to stay here for just a little while, okay?"

"No!"

"Bailey, Mommy has to go to work," Meredith said. "So I need you to stay here with your little sister. I promise, it'll be fun. Miss Elizabeth is going to introduce you to some new friends, and Aunt Amy's going to bring Zola after school and she'll play with you this afternoon too."

"I don't wanna play! I hate you!"

Meredith closed her eyes for a moment to blink back the tears. Opening them, she sighed and put her hands on his cheeks. "Derek Bailey Shepherd," she said, gently but firmly. "You know we don't talk like that. Now, I really have to go, but I'll come back at lunch to check on you, I promise."

Bailey scowled at his mother as Elizabeth took his hand. "Don't worry about him, Dr. Grey, he'll be just fine," she assured her. "Trust me, this happens all the time."

Meredith nodded as she slowly stood up. "You have my number if anything happens, and I put a couple of emergency contacts down, just in case I'm in surgery and you can't reach me," she said. "And they have their snacks in the bag and…"

"Dr. Grey, go to work," Elizabeth said with a knowing smile. "The kids will be just fine, and yes, I know how to reach if we need you."

"Okay," Meredith nodded, leaning over to kiss Bailey's forehead. "I love you, Bay. Be good today."

Elizabeth smiled as she took Ellis carrier out of Meredith's hands and Meredith watched as they walked into the daycare center. Try as she might, moments like that made her feel just a bit too much like her mother, and she wondered if her mind would ever stop drawing those comparisons. Shaking her head sadly, she turned and walked toward the elevators.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Meredith was surprised by how nervous she felt as she stood outside the Chief of Surgery's office and waited for a response to her knock.

"Come in!"

Pushing open the door, Meredith stepped into the office and took a moment to look around. She'd been in the room only briefly for her first interview a few weeks, and had been too distracted to really notice much about it then. Now, though, she took a moment to take in the wood paneled walls, the flowers on the conference table, the photographs on the wall showcasing various stages of the hospital's construction. There was a personal feel to the place that was a sharp contrast to the sleek, modern white-and-glass walls of Grey-Sloan.

"Ah, Dr. Grey, right on time."

And then there was the woman behind the desk, a tall, slender brunette with more than a touch of gray in her hairline, who couldn't have been more different from Miranda Bailey if she'd tried.

"I'm a few minutes late, actually, and I'm sorry about that," Meredith said. "There was a bit of a hold up down at the child development center."

"No trouble with registration, I hope?" Carol McLaughlin asked, motioning to a chair at the small circular table near the window as she stood up from behind the desk and made her way across the room.

"Oh, no, everything was very smooth with that," Meredith assured her. "My son just isn't quite used to it yet, he was a little upset at being left there."

"How old is he?"

"Three."

Carol smiled and nodded as she took a seat on one side of the table and Meredith sat on the other. "It's a difficult age for changes," she said. "I can't say have personal experience with the staff at our center, my kids were far too old for that by the time I started here, but I've heard wonderful things. I'm sure he's in good hands."

"I'm sure he is," Meredith said. "And it won't happen again, I'll plan in extra time for drop off if I have to."

"Meredith, you're barely five minutes late, don't worry about it," Carol said. "Now, I know you've got a million things on your schedule to get settled this morning, so I won't keep you too long. I just wanted to a few minutes to run through a few things before you head out on the floor."

"Of course," Meredith said.

"What's on your schedule first?"

"Um…" Meredith hesitated as she mentally ran through the last email Sydney had sent. "I believe Sydney set up a nine o'clock meeting with your residency director."

"Ah yes, Dr. Chan," Carol nodded. "You'll like him, he's fairly new as well, but he's been a real asset to the program. Now, I believe Dr. Heron already let you know that she'd a change of plans and won't be here personally to help with your transition?"

"She called me this weekend," Meredith said with a quick nod. "I'm sure I'll be able to find my way around without her. Sydney means well, and I'm sure she would have been a great help, but we have worked together before, and she's…well…"

"A bit much?" Carol asked knowingly.

Meredith laughed. "Just a little," she agreed.

"Let's just say she wouldn't have been my choice for a permanent replacement for Dr. Hernandez, so while I didn't appreciate having two positions to fill, I wasn't exactly objecting when they both decided to go to Texas," Carol said with a smile. "Still, I know it's never easy jumping in on your first day, so I want you to know that we maintain an open door policy here. If you have any questions or you don't know where you're supposed to be at any point, feel free to ask any of the attendings or department heads, we're all here to help."

"I appreciate that," Meredith said.

"There is another thing I wanted to go through before you start," Carol said hesitantly. "This part's never easy for me."

"What is it?" Meredith asked, suddenly wondering if her nerves had been warranted.

"I've been at Seattle Presbyterian for eleven years," Carol said. "Five as Chief of Surgery. In that time, I've worked with and hired quite a few surgeons out of the Seattle Grace or Grey-Sloan program. And I've been very pleased with the skill level that each of them has shown in the operating room. No one questions that about a Grey-Sloan graduate."

"But…?"

Carol sighed. "But over the years, I've learned a few things about the training environment over there, and I've learned that it's best to have a sit down talk with with those surgeons on their first day here, just to nip any culture differences in the bud before they become problems here."

"Culture differences?" Meredith asked.

"I've never found a surgeon from Grey-Sloan who had trouble speaking their mind," she said. "But I've often found that those same surgeons have a much harder time with listening to others, which is critical to our teaching approach here. Now, before I go any further, this is the usually the part where people's eyes glaze over and they start thinking I'm talking about hippy-dippy, hand-holding, resident-coddling, so-called modern approaches."

"Are you?"

Carol laughed and shook her head. "Meredith, I didn't go into surgery to hold anyone's hand," she said. "I'm not afraid to say, I'm in this specialty because I like to think I'm a little bit badass, even with the gray hair and the grandchildren on the way. I wasn't coddled as a resident, and I don't intend to do any coddling. Hell, if it were up to me, I'd get rid of the ridiculous working hour restrictions on residents, but of course then we'd lose our accreditation. Even still, our residents and our surgeons work hard, and I like to think that we're building a program where our people can do great things."

"Which is why I'm here," Meredith said.

"And we're thrilled to have you. That being said," Carol said. "Here at Seattle Presbyterian, you need to understand that we encourage everyone at any level to speak up and ask questions whenever they see something they think might not be right. Now, that's not to say we encourage our residents to nit-pick our attendings, or our medical students to pester our residents. But if someone sees something going on that they don't understand, they are encouraged to speak up. If the issue they're raising has no merit, then you have an opportunity to teach that person. If they didn't understand why you chose a particular site to make your first incision, for example, now you have the opportunity to have a discussion about the appropriate times and patients for each approach, and why you opted for the one you did."

"That makes sense," Meredith said.

"And I do mean it when I say everyone is encouraged to speak up," she continued. "I know it might take some getting used to to have these questions coming from students or observers or nurses, but that's part of our culture - no rank or superiority is worth more than the safety of our patients. And after a few weeks, you might be surprised who it is that saves the day. Just last week I was preparing for an aortic valve replacement and a medical student asked why I had opted for a 2.5 instead of the standard 3. I hadn't, I had intended to place a 3, but it wasn't until that moment that anyone noticed that the circulating nurse had inadvertently prepped the wrong tray. If that had been discovered when I went to place the valve, we would have had a lengthy delay with the patient's chest open on the table while the correct equipment was brought up."

"I think you're right, it may take some getting used to," Meredith said. "But the approach does make sense, and it sounds like it's been working well here for quite some time."

"It has," Carol said. "And I'm not trying to be critical of Grey-Sloan. I know you're still on the board, and you still have partial ownership of the hospital, and that it means a lot to you. I have the utmost respect for Richard Webber and the program he led, and although I don't know Miranda Bailey as well, I'm sure she's continuing in his footsteps. We've just had the benefit of a little bit more stability here."

"Stability?"

"How many chiefs or interim chiefs did you work for during your time across town?" Carol asked.

Meredith frowned as she considered the number. "I suppose it was quite a few," she admitted.

"It's hard to instill any kind of working culture with that sort of revolving door at the top," Carol said. "And I understand there were legitimate reasons for every change, but that doesn't alter the fact that when leadership isn't consistent, people tend to feel the need to become self-reliant, which is not conducive to our team approach here."

"Well, I'm certainly willing to give it a shot," Meredith said.

"I'm glad to hear that," Carol said. "There's just one other little thing. As my chief of general surgery, I hope that I'll be able to consider you my right hand in running this department, just like I know Miranda Bailey did until your suspension."

"Well, I'll certainly do my best," Meredith said.

"I hope you don't mind, but I did take the liberty of calling Miranda yesterday afternoon," she said. "I heard your side at your interview, but I wanted to hear her version of the circumstances surrounding your suspension."

"I see."

"Meredith, I don't know what happened at Grey-Sloan, but that's in the past. I want you to know that our culture of speaking up extends to our department heads," she said. "I'm not looking to have my decisions rubber-stamped and followed without discussion. Any major policy decision affecting the department, including the residency program, is only implemented after a discussion with all my subspecialty chiefs."

"I appreciate that," Meredith said.

"But at the same time, if you have an objection to a policy or a procedure or even a person, I need to know that you'll bring it to me," she said. "And preferably not just an objection. Bring me an alternative proposal, or even just an idea of one that we can start to flesh out. Blatantly disregarding policies and procedures you disagree with, or blacklisting personnel for any reason, will not be tolerated at Seattle Presbyterian. This is a hospital, and we expect our staff to act like professionals."

Meredith took a breath as she tried to figure out if she'd just been insulted. "I understand," she said slowly.

"I don't mean that as an insult or a judgment on what happened at Grey-Sloan," Carol said. "For what it's worth, I can't say that twenty years ago, I wouldn't have done the same thing you did."

"But don't do it here, or I'll be out on my rear?" Meredith said knowingly.

Carol laughed and nodded. "Well, let's try to keep the communication going so we never get to that point," she said. "After all, it took us months to find and hire you, I don't intend to go through that process again for a long time."


	6. Chapter 6

Meredith took a moment to quickly stretch her shoulders as she walked out of the OR and tossed her mask into the trash. Turning to her resident, she let a small smile cross her face.

"You did excellent work in there this morning, Dr. Crane," Meredith said.

The second year resident beamed at the praise. "Thank you, Dr. Grey," she said. "I appreciate the opportunity to scrub in. I've not seen that that particular technique used before."

Meredith nodded as she quickly washed her hands at the sink. "It's an older technique," she admitted. "But not one that's been traditionally used in these sorts of procedures. Make sure you do some reading on the Fitzgerald technique this afternoon after you've finished your post-ops."

"I'll do that," Dr. Crane said.

"There are a few interesting studies that have come out in the past two or three years that you'll want to pay particular attention to," Meredith said. "Take a look at the rate of post-operative complications compared with more traditional approaches. I'm doing another surgery tomorrow morning that I'll likely use this same technique on, you should plan to scrub in."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey, I'll look forward to it," the resident said, glancing over her shoulder at the OR opposite them. "Looks like a rough delivery in there."

"Delivery?" Meredith asked, following the younger woman's gaze as she dried her hands.

Dr. Crane nodded. "Well, that's our OB team in there now," she said. "I've only met…"

Meredith watched with mild interest as the controlled chaos unfolded through the OR window until suddenly, the scrub nurse looked up and Meredith suddenly felt the oxygen leave the room as she found herself staring into a pair of eyes she'd been certain she would never see again. Brown with a hint of green, with just a bit more weariness and less innocence than she remembered…for a moment, she felt as though she was looking at a ghost.

"Dr. Grey?"

Shaking her head, Meredith took a deep breath and turned away.

"Are you alright, Dr. Grey? You looked like you zoned out there for a minute."

"I'm fine," Meredith said, quickly tossing her towel into the trash. "I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Meredith was still feeling slightly shaken by the time she made it out of the hospital a few minutes later and took a deep breath of fresh air. Turning toward the bench that had become her favorite spot to sit and think outside the hospital building, she nearly turned back in at the sight of the man sitting there.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, walking up to the bench.

Riggs shrugged and held up a cardboard cup. "Brought you a coffee."

Meredith glared at him as she took the cup and stared at it for a moment. "Were you planning to sit out here all day and just hope I came out at some point?"

Riggs hesitated and didn't answer immediately.

"Because if you were, that's a terrible plan," Meredith continued. "What if I'd been stuck in the OR all day? Or decided to have lunch on the other side of the hospital? You could have been sitting here for hours."

"I was trying to work up the nerve," Riggs said.

"To do what?"

"To go inside so you could reject me again," he admitted.

Meredith shook her head. "You're pathetic," she teased, taking a seat next to him. "Why exactly are you here?"

"It's my day off," Riggs said matter-of-factly. "I've been to Seattle Pres once or twice since moving here, and I remembered they don't have very good coffee, so here I am."

"You drove all the way across town to bring me coffee?" Meredith asked skeptically. "You do realize there's a Starbucks across the street, right?"

"Like I said, no good coffee here," Riggs said. "Which is probably why you looked so sad when you walked outside."

"I did not look sad."

"You did," Riggs said. "Now drink the coffee before it gets really cold."

Meredith fought a smile as she took a sip from the cup, not willing to admit either out loud or through her expression that it actually was much better than what was sold at the hospital coffee cart or across the street. Staring straight ahead, she finally started to relax as they sat there in silence, neither one saying anything, until eventually she went to take another sip and realized the cup was empty. Setting it down next to her, Meredith glanced over at Riggs out of the corner of her eye, then stared forward again.

"I saw my sister this morning," she said quietly.

Riggs frowned. "I thought Pierce was doing a valve replacement this morning," he said. "How could…"

"Not Maggie," Meredith said quickly. "Lexie."

"You have another sister?"

Meredith nodded and sighed softly. "My kid sister," she said. "She died, almost five years ago now."

"I'm sorry," Riggs said, not knowing quite how to respond. "What happened?"

"There was a plane crash," Meredith said, realizing almost as soon as she started talking just how much she wished she'd never brought it up. "Anyway, I saw her this morning."

"Okay." Riggs nodded and leaned back against the bench, figuring it was better to say nothing at all than to say the wrong thing at this point.

"Well?" Meredith asked, turning her head to look at him. "Aren't you going to tell me I'm crazy? That I couldn't possibly have seen her?"

Riggs shook his head. "I don't know what exactly you saw this morning," he said. "If you say it was your sister, fine. Who am I to argue with what you saw?"

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

This time, Riggs hesitated. "I don't know," he admitted. "I've never seen one, if that's what you're asking. I always thought that maybe if they did exist, one of these days I'd see Megan somewhere, but it's never happened. Doesn't mean they aren't real, though. I'm not stupid enough to assume I know exactly what happens when someone dies. So if you say you saw your sister, then as far as I'm concerned, you saw your sister."

"It was different today," Meredith said.

"Has this happened before?"

Meredith hesitated. "Sort of," she said. "Right after Lexie died, in those first couple of months, I had a really hard time at the hospital. She was a surgeon too, a year behind me in residency. I used to come around a corner and I'd catch a glimpse of her at the end of the hallway, or I'd be coming out of a big surgery and I'd swear I could hear her voice for a moment. Today felt different, though."

"How so?"

"It wasn't a glimpse or a fleeting thought today," Meredith said. "I was standing outside an OR and there was this woman in there who had Lexie's eyes. She looked at me and all I could see was the eyes. They were Lexie's eyes, I could have sworn they were Lexie's eyes. It was like I was looking at her again for that one moment. I know it's impossible, the woman wasn't even the same height or build as Lexie, but they were her eyes."

"And that's why you looked sad," Riggs said. "Because that made you miss your sister."

Meredith nodded. "It's really okay if you think I'm crazy."

"I told you, I don't think you're crazy," Riggs said. "I'm glad you told me."

"I, uh, I should get back to work," Meredith said, shaking her head as though she were trying to shake off the moment as she stood up and tossed the cardboard coffee cup in a nearby trash can.

"I'm guessing if I asked you to get dinner tonight, you'd say no," Riggs said, standing up to face her.

"You'd be right," Meredith agreed.

"I'm going to keep asking," Riggs said.

Meredith shook her head as she turned to walk back into the building. "I'm going to keep saying no," she said, looking over her shoulder as she spoke. Turning away from him, she was careful not to let him see the small smile on her lips as she walked away.

* * *

"Maggie, it's Meredith. It's been almost a month, can we at least talk? The kids are asking about you, and I don't know what to tell them. I don't care if you're still mad at me, but it's not fair to them to just disappear from their lives. Please call me."

Meredith shook her head as she hung up her cell phone and slipped it into her purse. She was long past the point of understanding Maggie's reaction, and if it had just been her, she would have been perfectly content to let her sister throw her temper tantrum for as long as she wanted. But if there was one thing Meredith refused to stand for, it was someone playing with the emotions of her children. They'd had enough instability in their short lives already, and Meredith was not about to let anyone - not even her own sister - add to that unnecessarily.

She took a breath to steady herself as she stepped off the elevator and headed toward the childcare center. Her last case of the day had been cancelled, meaning that even with her unplanned coffee break with Riggs in the middle of it, she'd had a short OR day. So even though she had what could only be described as a massive pile of charts and paperwork to plow through that evening, she'd decided to take advantage of the rapidly fading late summer warmth and take the kids out of daycare a few hours early.

Rounding the corner, she tried to brace herself for what had been a daily struggle throughout the first two weeks she'd been at Seattle Presbyterian. Every day, Bailey screamed when she dropped him off at daycare, and every day, he threw himself at her the second she walked through the door at the end of the day, wailing away as though he'd thought he'd never see her again. It was becoming harder and harder to suppress what she internally referred to as the Ellis Grey-guilt with him throwing such passionate tantrums. Pushing open the door to the daycare center, she stepped inside and readied herself to be rushed by her toddler yet again.

"Hi Mom!"

Meredith frowned at the sight of the smiling blonde-haired little boy waving at her from across the room, not moving from the spot on the floor where he was building a tower with a blonde-haired girl who appeared to be about the same age. Turning her head, she raised an eyebrow at Elizabeth.

"He made a friend," the childcare worker said with a shrug and a smile. "I told you he'd settle in eventually."

"Who is she?" Meredith asked. "And where on earth has she been all this time?"

Elizabeth laughed. "Her name is Allie Thompson," she said. "Her mother's a labor and delivery nurse. They just got back from a big family vacation."

"Has he been like this all day?" Meredith asked, watching as the two children dissolved into a fit of laughter over some shared joke.

"They've been inseparable," Elizabeth said. "It's kind of cute, actually. When we took the kids to the park this afternoon, they insisted on holding hands the entire walk there."

"Why do I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time getting him to leave now?" Meredith asked.

"You said you wanted him to make friends," Elizabeth said with a smile. "I guess you better careful what you wish for."


	7. Chapter 7

A few days later, Meredith let out a slight sigh as she leaned back in her chair and rubbed the back of her neck, glancing wistfully out her office window at the rapidly fading sunset. Normally, she enjoyed the handful of overnight shifts that were still on her schedule these days, but something felt off that evening. She supposed it was the stress of settling into a new work environment that was still bothering her. As smooth as the transition to Seattle Presbyterian had been - and all in all, she really couldn't complain - it still didn't quite feel like home yet. She just had to keep reminding herself that she'd been at Grey-Sloan for almost a decade, and it was going to take more than three or four weeks for another hospital to feel quite as comfortable.

A sharp knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she quickly sat up in her chair, taking a deep breath before dealing with what she was sure was a resident there to present a patient.

"Come in," Meredith called out, turning toward the door to find a somewhat timid-looking blonde woman in labor and delivery scrubs standing in her doorway.

"Dr. Grey?" she asked.

Meredith nodded as she looked the woman up and down, trying desperately to figure out why she looked so eerily familiar.

"I, um…you probably don't remember me," the woman said, letting the door close behind her as she stepped into the office. "My name is Molly Thompson. I, uh, I'm a nurse up on labor and delivery. I…"

"Your daughter is the one my son's been playing with at daycare this week," Meredith surmised, remembering Elizabeth's description of Bailey's new friend's mother.

"Oh, um, yes. Allie," she said.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you," Meredith said. "But you said I wouldn't remember you. Have we met before?"

Molly nodded. "Like I said, I wouldn't expect you to remember. I mean, we never officially met, not really. The first time, I didn't even know who you were, and the second time…well, a funeral isn't exactly the best place to meet someone, and obviously we were both a little distracted that day. You know, because of it being a funeral. But I…"

"You're Molly," Meredith said quietly, as though she didn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. She was grateful that she was already sitting when the realization finally hit her. "Lexie's little sister."

"I am."

"You have her eyes," Meredith observed. "You have the same eyes."

Molly nodded, but didn't say anything in response.

"It was you I saw in the OR the other day," Meredith said. "I don't think I knew that you were a nurse."

"I wasn't," Molly said. "I just graduated from nursing school a few months ago."

"So this is your first job?" Meredith asked.

Molly sighed and shook her head. "We're not going to do this, Meredith," she said. "That's not why I'm here."

"What exactly is it that we're not doing?"

"The getting to know each other thing," Molly said. "I tell you something, you tell me something. I didn't come here tonight to do that."

"Okay," Meredith said hesitantly. "In that case, can I ask why you're here?"

"Because at some point, we're going to run into each other," Molly said. "We work in different departments, but the kids are becoming friends, which means we're probably going to cross paths at pick up, or at birthday parties or playdates or whatever. I didn't know if you'd recognize me, but if you did, I didn't want the first time to be in front of the kids, because as awkward as this is, I feel like that would be worse."

"That makes sense," Meredith said. "Look, if you maybe wanted to get coffee or something…"

"I'm trying to be polite," Molly interrupted. "But it's not going to happen, Meredith. I'm glad that the kids are getting along, I'm very happy to let that continue, but that's it. Our children can be friends, but we're not going to be."

"Molly…"

"I probably shouldn't have even come by," Molly said, turning toward the door. "This isn't going to work."

"Can you at least tell me why?" Meredith asked.

Molly hesitated, the door handle in her hand as she turned her head to look at Meredith. "Because," she said in a somewhat shaky voice that betrayed the calm she was trying to project. "Because I'm sorry, but you're not a person I've ever wanted to know, Meredith."

* * *

 _You're not a person I've ever wanted to know._

Meredith was still playing the words over and over in her head three days later as she tucked her children into bed. She hadn't quite been able to put her finger on why they bothered her, beyond the obvious similarity to what she'd once said to Lexie. After all, Meredith had had plenty of chances over the years to get to know her. She'd avoided her when she had come to Seattle Grace to have her baby. She'd turned down every offer Lexie made for a get-together when Molly had come to visit her. She'd even ignored Molly's phone call after she'd given Thatcher part of her liver. When she'd seen her at Lexie funeral, their interaction was limited to a cursory nod and possibly a handshake - Meredith honestly couldn't remember if they'd even said hello that day.

And yet for some reason, the words of rejection were eating away at her now, and she couldn't help but remember a long forgotten conversation she'd had a few months before the plane crash…

 _Meredith frowned as she walked into the kitchen and found Lexie sitting at the table, an untouched mug of coffee in front of her and tears on her cheeks._

 _"You're back," she said in surprise. "I thought you were going to be supposed to be gone until tomorrow?"_

 _"I was," Lexie said, wiping the tears from her cheeks._

 _Meredith sighed as she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down across from her sister._

 _"Alright, you know I'm terrible at this touchy-feely stuff," she said. "So don't make me have to pry it out of you. What happened?"_

 _"We had a fight," Lexie admitted. "She's going through a rough time right now, a really rough time. I thought maybe I could distract her, that I could make her feel better. I used to always be able to make her smile, but I think I just made things so much worse this time."_

 _"I'm sure you did your best," Meredith said. "Give it a few days, and you two will be back to talking on the phone for hours like nothing ever happened."_

 _"I don't think so," Lexie said. "I feel like I've lost my little sister, Meredith, and I don't even know when it happened. It's not just this visit, it's been coming on for years. We used to be so close, but I feel like our lives just went in such different directions that I don't even know her anymore. I don't know how to help her."_

 _"I don't know what to tell you, Lexie," Meredith said, taking a sip of her coffee. "Give her time. You'll wear her down eventually."_

 _"Like I did with you?"_

 _Meredith laughed and nodded. "Something like that," she said._

 _"This is different," Lexie said, looking up as a thought occurred to her. "Would you talk to her?"_

 _"Me?" Meredith asked in surprise. "I don't…"_

 _"Please, Meredith," Lexie interrupted. "Look, her husband's being transferred back to Fort Lewis, so she'll be nearby soon. We could just have lunch, the three of us, and you could talk to her. I think she'd really like you, and maybe you could get through to her."_

 _"Lexie, I'm not good with things like that, you know that," Meredith said._

 _"You actually are, but that's not the point," Lexie said._

 _"Why do you think I could get through to her if you can't?" Meredith asked. "You know her much better than I do."_

 _"But you're a mom," Lexie said. "I can't connect with her on that level."_

 _"It's not like there's some magic 'mommy code' that I can use," Meredith pointed out. "Just because I have a child doesn't mean I automatically connect with every other woman who has one."_

 _"Please, Meredith, don't make me beg," Lexie insisted. "Will you just try? One lunch, after she moves here in the spring. That's all I'm asking. One lunch."_

 _Meredith sighed. "Alright," she agreed. "One lunch."_

 _"Promise?"_

 _"What, my word's not good enough?" Meredith teased. "Fine, I promise."_

Of course, that lunch had been set for shortly after the plane crash that had changed everything, and nothing had come of her promise. She hadn't even thought about the conversation in years, but as she stood in the doorway of her son's room and watched him sleep, she couldn't escape the memory.

"Mom?"

Meredith was shaken out of her memories by her son's voice calling from his bed.

"What is it, Bailey?" she asked, stepping back into the room.

"Is my daddy in heaven?"

Meredith felt like she'd been punched in the gut as she stood in the middle of the room and tried to get her bearings. Taking a deep breath, she walked over and sat down on the edge of her son's bed.

"Yes, sweetheart," she said quietly. "Your daddy's in heaven."

Bailey nodded. "Okay," he said. "And we can't visit heaven 'cause it's far?"

"No, baby, we can't visit," Meredith said sadly, fighting back her tears. She'd always been open with her children, and talked about Derek as much as she could, but until now, Bailey hadn't brought him up himself.

"Mom?" Bailey asked again. "Do you think my daddy knows Allie's daddy?"

Meredith frowned at the mention of his new friend and, apparently, his cousin, although she hadn't yet come up with a way to explain that connection to anyone. "Why would you think that, Bailey?"

"Allie said her daddy's in heaven," Bailey explained with his toddler lisp. "If my daddy's there too, maybe they're friends."

"She said that?" Meredith asked. "Did, um...did she say how long her daddy had been in heaven?"

Bailey nodded. "Since before she came outta her mommy's tummy," he said. "Is that enough time for him to meet my daddy? I think they'd be friends, Mom, 'cause Allie's my friend."

"I think you might be right," Meredith agreed, the tears welling up her eyes. "Now, it's time for you to go to sleep, mister. But we can talk about your daddy any time you want to, okay?"

Bailey nodded and yawned. "G'night, Mom," he said, curling up against his pillow. "Love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart," Meredith said, leaning over and kissing his forehead before quietly stepping out of the room. She made it all the way back to her bedroom before the full weight of the conversation hit her, knocking her to her knees as she gave in to the tears, even if she wasn't sure exactly who she was crying for at that point.


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

Alex took a bite of his sandwich and looked over at Amelia, who was glaring at him from the other side of their small table in the corner of the crowded cafeteria.

"Blah, blah, blah…Meredith's in a mood, you're too scared to talk to her," Alex said, waving his hand dismissively. "Got it."

"I am not scared to talk to her," Amelia protested. "I'm just saying, I think it would be better coming from you."

"Why is always my job to handle Meredith?" Alex asked.

"Because you're her person or whatever," Amelia said. "She likes you."

"She likes you too."

"She tolerates me," Amelia corrected. "And sometimes, only just barely. If I try to ask her why she was crying half the night, she'll kick me out of the house. Then I'll be homeless, and you'd feel terrible about that."

"Not really," Alex said. "You've got a home."

"Shut up."

"Problem is, you're almost as scared of dealing with your husband as you are of dealing with Meredith."

"I said shut up," Amelia snapped. "This isn't about me or my marriage. Meredith's been a bad mood all week, and then last night, she's crying in her bedroom. That's not normal behavior, even for Meredith. Something's wrong, and someone needs to talk to her about it."

"Something's wrong with Meredith?"

Amelia rolled her eyes and quickly took a large bite of her salad so that her mouth was full as Maggie sat down at the table.

"She's fine," Alex said.

"Not that you care," Amelia added.

Maggie sighed. "Amelia…"

"I'm just saying, you haven't spoken to her in a month," Amelia said. "If you cared, you could get over your little temper tantrum and call her."

"You don't understand," Maggie said. "She…"

"She what?" Amelia interrupted. "Didn't tell you she'd slept with Riggs? So what? I don't tell my sisters every time I screw a guy. Or is that she didn't tell you she was taking a new job? She didn't tell me either, and you don't see me pouting about it. She's an adult, Maggie, she's going to make her own decisions, and they don't always have anything to do with you."

"Are you saying if Derek had done any of those things, you'd have been okay with it?" Maggie asked.

"Well no…if Derek had screwed a guy I was interested in, I probably would have had a thing or two to say about that," Amelia said.

"Dude, mental images I don't need," Alex protested, holding a hand to his eyes.

"You know that's not what I meant," Maggie said.

"He didn't talk to me before he took that job in D.C.," Amelia said. "He didn't talk to me before he sold his practice in New York and uprooted his whole life to move to Seattle. You don't have to share every detail of your life just because you share DNA."

"This isn't about DNA," Maggie argued. "It's about honesty, it's about trust, it's about respect, it's…"

"It's about your feelings being hurt because Riggs slept with her but wouldn't give you the time of day," Amelia said, standing up and picking up her now-empty plate. "Look, Maggie, I love you, but it's time to grow up before you do some damage you can't undo."

Maggie shook her head as Amelia walked away.

"She's being a little dramatic, don't you think?" she asked.

Alex held up his hands defensively. "Don't drag me into this," he said. "You're already fighting with Meredith and Amelia, you don't want my opinion thrown in there too."

"You agree with them?"

Alex sighed. "I have to get to the OR," he said, standing up as Maggie started to protest. "Look, just take it from someone who knows Meredith Grey better than probably anyone else alive…the longer you spend out of her life, the harder it's going to be getting her to let you back in."

Maggie shook her head as Alex walked away, frowning when he turned around and walked back to the table.

"And one other thing," he said, stopping across the table from her. "I know she called and invited you to Zola's birthday party next week. I don't care if you show up and don't say two words to Meredith all afternoon. That's fine. But Zola wants you there, and if you disappoint that little girl, I can almost guarantee you that that'll be the end with Meredith."

* * *

That evening, Amelia was reading a medical journal in her bed when the door to her room opened and Meredith stepped inside. She watched curiously as her sister-in-law walked around to the far side of the bed and flopped down on top of the covers, crossing her hands over her abdomen as she stared up at the ceiling. Shaking her head, Amelia started to return to the article she'd been skimming.

"Bailey asked me if his daddy's in heaven."

The journal slipped out of Amelia's hands as she turned to look at her sister-in-law in shock. "What? When?"

"Last night," Meredith said, focusing intently on a spot on the ceiling. "Alex said you heard me crying."

"God, Meredith," Amelia sighed. "I thought maybe he'd ask he started school, but he's not even four yet, I didn't think…"

"Yeah, well, neither did I," Meredith said. "It's not like we don't talk about Derek, there are pictures in all the kids' rooms. It just kind of hit me out of the blue to have him ask."

"What did you tell him?"

"That his daddy's in heaven."

"I thought in you didn't believe in heaven and hell?" Amelia asked.

Meredith shrugged. "I don't know what I believe," she admitted. "I mean, I've died. I've actually, honest-to-goodness died, and I still can't say for sure what happens. But Derek believed, and Bailey's only three, I think we can save the discussions on the complexities of life after death theories until he's at least five."

Amelia laughed. "I suppose so."

"He, uh, he also asked about Allie's dad."

"Allie?" Amelia frowned at the name. "You mean the kid from daycare? The one he won't stop talking about?"

Meredith nodded.

"What does she have to do with anything?"

"Bailey wanted to know if I thought Derek knew Allie's father," Meredith said. "Apparently he's dead too."

"Shit," Amelia muttered. "I guess they've got a lot in common then."

"More than you know."

Amelia sighed. "Alright, what does that mean?"

"Her mother," Meredith said. "Molly. She, uh…well…"

"Oh, I met her the other day when I picked the kids up from daycare," Amelia said. "She seemed nice enough. Very quiet, though. Didn't mention anything about a dead husband, but I guess that's not something you bring up with a total stranger."

"She's my sister."

Amelia turned to look at Meredith in confusion. "She's what?"

"She's my father's youngest daughter," Meredith said. "Lexie's little sister."

"How long have you known about her?" Amelia asked.

"She was the original long-lost sister," Meredith explained. "We met when I was an intern. There were complications when she was pregnant with her first child, so she ended up as one of Addison's patients. We only really spoke once, and she didn't know I was her sister at that point. I didn't see her again until Lexie's funeral, and until a few days ago, I hadn't seen her since."

"So wait...you've actually got just as many sisters as I do," Amelia said.

"I guess so," Meredith agreed. "Although, one's dead, and the other two don't want anything to do with me, so I guess my truckload of sisters isn't doing me much good."

"Well, my sisters don't want anything to do with me either," Amelia said. "You want me to talk to this new one for you?"

"And say what exactly?"

"I don't know," Amelia shrugged. "Meredith's great, give her a chance?"

"Somehow, I don't think that would help," Meredith said. "I've got to figure this one out on my own, if it even can be figured out. Besides, look at my track record with sisters. Lexie's dead. Maggie thinks I betrayed her. Maybe I don't want another sister. It just makes things more complicated."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere, even if you want me to," Amelia said. "So you're stuck with at least one, no matter how much you dislike me."

Meredith nodded as she smiled slightly. "You take some getting used to, but you're not that bad," she said.

"And that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Amelia said, laughing as Meredith threw a pillow in her face.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Alright, this one is quite a bit longer than usual, and I've gone back and forth many times on how much to include in it, so I hope I've struck a good balance. There's a lot more to come in the next chapter, and since a lot of it was cut out of this chapter, it may come in just a few days. There've been a number of questions in reviews and via PM about Molly's behavior, so I hope this at least starts to answer some of those questions - I know it may not make perfect sense to all of you, but sometimes the way we feel, especially when grieving, isn't exactly logical.

* * *

"Mom, why can't I just stay home?"

Meredith smiled as she looked up from signing the kids into daycare the following Friday morning. "Zo-zo, you may be wise beyond your years, but you're still only just turning six," she said. "I can't leave you home by yourself, and your school may have decided that today is a day off, but the rest of the world didn't, so I still have to work."

"What about…"

"And so do Alex and Aunt Amy," Meredith interrupted, knowing what her daughter was about to say.

"Come on, Zo, let's play!" Bailey said, tugging on her hand. "Allie's coming soon, you can meet her."

Zola sent Meredith a pleading look, but Meredith simply smiled and shook her head.

"Have fun," she said, leaning down to kiss both their foreheads.

After watching to see that the kids were settled, and that Ellis was happily teetering around on her still-shaky one year old legs under the careful eye of one the aides, Meredith turned to leave and found herself nearly run over by three girls who appeared only slightly older than Zola.

"Girls, watch where you're going!"

Meredith suddenly wished she'd spent even a few minutes fewer watching the kids settled in as she found herself once again face to face with Molly, who was balancing the daycare sign-in clipboard in one hand and Allie on her hip.

"Meredith," Molly said with a quick nod of her head.

"Hi," Meredith said, turning her head to look at the girls. "Are they yours as well?"

Molly sighed as she set Allie down and picked up a pen to sign her kids in. "I told you, we're not doing this," she said, looking down at her daughter. "Allie, honey, you can go on in and play."

"Molly…"

Molly shook her head as she continued to write on the clipboard. "Meredith, I just can't," she said. "Please understand that."

Meredith hesitated but nodded, stepping silently out into the hallway, leaning against the wall across from the daycare entrance as she waited. Finally, the door opened and Molly stepped into the hall, stopping short when she saw Meredith waiting for her.

"We need to talk."

Molly shook her head and nervously adjusted the strap of her purse. "There's nothing to talk about," she said. "I thought I made that clear last week."

"You did," Meredith said. "And quite frankly, if you don't want to be my sister, that's fine. My track record with family isn't all that great, so it's probably better for both of us anyway. I just want to understand why."

"Why what?"

"Why you don't want to know me," Meredith said. "Why you can barely even talk to me. Did I do something to offend you at some point? Because I think we've had three conversations our whole lives, and I can't imagine what I could possibly have done."

"I just don't need another sister," Molly said. "I had one, and I lost her. I don't need another one."

"That's fine with me," Meredith said. "But don't forget, I lost her too. She was my sister too."

"Oh, she made that perfectly clear," Lexie muttered.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Molly said quickly. "It's nothing. Look, I have to get to work, I…"

"Molly…" Meredith reached out and put her hand on Molly's arm to stop her from walking away.

"Please, just leave me alone," Molly said, pulling her arm back. "I can't do this."

"Why the hell not?" Meredith asked, a bit more angrily than she'd intended.

"Because you stole my sister, that's why!" Molly snapped, stepping back slightly as the words left her mouth and a horrified look crossed her face as she realized what she'd said.

Meredith frowned as she stared at Molly in a confusion. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"We used to sit up at night talking about you," Molly said. "What our big sister was like, what she doing, where she was. We never understood why you weren't around, why the only pictures Dad had of you were of when you were a little girl. Lexie and I were very close growing up, and always said when we found you, it would be the three of us."

"Molly…"

"She never stopped talking about that, even after she went off to college," Molly said. "We talked on the phone almost every day, and every now and then she'd bring it up, how great it was going to be when she finally found you and we were together, the three of us sisters. But then she went to med school and I got married and pregnant, and we didn't talk so much anymore. And all of a sudden, there you were, standing beside my hospital bed, looking at me like I had two heads or something. I knew who you were the minute I saw you, even if you didn't tell me. Lexie was so excited when I told her you were in Seattle, and when Mom said you were starting to open up to her and Dad, it was like everything was falling into place. And then…"

"And then Susan died," Meredith said knowingly.

Molly nodded. "Mom died, and my husband got transferred, and Lexie moved back here. I was stuck on an Army base in Kuwait with a new baby and nobody to talk to, and every time I called home Dad was drunk and Lexie was usually too busy to take my calls. And when we did talk, it was Meredith this and Meredith that, and Meredith did this or Meredith said that. There was no more talk of the three of us, it was just you and her. Like there was nothing else worth talking about."

"Molly, I…"

"I can't remember the last thing I said to her," Molly continued. "She came to visit me a few months before she died, when we were still living in Chicago, and I can't remember what I said when she was leaving, except that I know I was furious with her. When she first showed up, I thought maybe this would be a new start for us. I had a three month old in the ICU and three other kids who didn't understand what was going on, and then there she was. There was my big sister, right when I needed her most. I thought, Lexie's here, she'll make everything okay." Molly closed her eyes against the tears and shook her head. "But you know what she did? She talked about _you_. All she wanted to do was talk about you and your new husband and your perfect new baby. And the pictures…she had so many pictures. My family was in chaos, and it felt like all she wanted to do was shove yours in my face."

"She didn't…"

"I told her I hated her," Molly said. "When she was leaving, I told her I hated her. The last thing my sister heard from me was anger, because of you."

"Molly, I can't…"

"I have to go to work," Molly said, shaking her head as she wiped the tears from her cheeks and quickly turned to walk away, leaving Meredith almost speechless in the hallway.

* * *

"Alright, your brother and sister are asleep, it's time bed for you, kiddo," Meredith said, walking into the living room where Zola was quietly reading a book.

"But Mom, I'm not tired," Zola said, stifling a yawn as she spoke.

Meredith smiled. "Well, if you don't go to sleep tonight, you'll fall asleep at your party tomorrow," she said, taking the book and placing it on a table. "So, would you rather go to bed now, or sleep on a bench while your friends play in that bounce house you've been so excited about?"

Zola sighed. "Fine," she said, taking Meredith's hand to walk upstairs. "I'll go to bed."

"Good choice."

"I get to open my presents tomorrow, right?" Zola asked.

"That's right," Meredith said.

"Even the ones you're hiding in the laundry room?" Zola asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do," Zola said. "The mailman brought them. One of them's from Sofia, I saw the box and it said New York. Who are the others from?"

"Well, one's from your grandma, and one's from Cristina," she said. "And there's a big one from your Auntie Lizzie and Aunt Kathy and Aunt Nancy."

Zola nodded. "Because they're not coming, right?" she asked. "That's why they sent them in the mail?"

"That's right," Meredith said. "They can't come to your party because they live too far away. But you'll see them over the summer when they come to visit, that's only a few months away."

"You're not excited about that, are you?" Zola asked.

Meredith smiled at her daughter's perceptiveness. Sometimes, it was easy for her to forget that she was only just turning six. "I'm very excited that you and Bailey and Ellis get to spend time with your dad's family," she said. "And all your cousins are coming too, which will be fun for you, right?"

Zola shook her head. "Mom, they're all old," she said. "I want cousins my age. Can't Aunt Amy adopt one?"

"Well, you'll have to take that up with your aunt," Meredith said, helping Zola into her bed. "I'm not in charge of how many cousins you have or how old they are."

Zola sighed as she flopped back on her pillow. "Did Aunt Maggie send a present?" she asked.

"No, she didn't."

"Does that mean she's coming to my party?" Zola asked hopefully. "If she wasn't coming, she would have sent a present like the others, right?"

"I'm not sure," Meredith said. "I hope she'll be there, but you know Aunt Maggie is very busy these days."

"Mom, I'm going to be six tomorrow," Zola said. "I'm not dumb. Aunt Maggie didn't move out because she's busy."

"No, you're right, she didn't," Meredith agreed.

"Aunt Amy and Alex are busy too," she said. "And you've got a new job and lots of surgeries, Mom. But you're all coming to my party. She's not busy, she's mad at someone. Is it me?"

"Oh sweetheart, of course it's not you," Meredith said. "Aunt Maggie loves you very much. She's mad at me."

"Why?"

"It's complicated, Zo-Zo," Meredith said. "But I'm sure she's going to do everything she can to be at your party tomorrow."

"I hope so," Zola said. "I miss her."

"I know," Meredith said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "Try to go to sleep, okay? It'll be tomorrow before you know it."

—

An hour later, Meredith was standing in the kitchen, staring a spread of ingredients on the counter, along with a cookbook that seemed to be mocking her.

"Alright," she said to herself as she flipped it open. "How hard can making a cake really be?"

Derek had always been in charge of the cake before he died, and since she'd returned home, Maggie had taken over that duty. But with her sister not returning her phone calls, Meredith figured she was on her own with this one - and she couldn't shake the feeling that this was going to end with a last-minute run to the bakery tomorrow morning.

She was just about to open the bag of flour when the doorbell rang. Frowning, she looked at her watch, wondering who would be at her door at nine o'clock on a Friday night. Setting down the measuring cup, she made her way to the front door and pulled it open to find one of the last people she'd have ever expected to see at her house.

"Molly? What are you doing here?"

Molly hesitated and looked down at her feet nervously, her hands shoved into the pockets of her jeans as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

"Molly?"

"When I was eight, I told my teacher she was a bitch," Molly said, not looking up. "Someone from the school must have called, because when he got home from work that night, Dad put me in the car and drove me to her house, then he sat there while I went up to her front door and apologized."

Meredith frowned as she looked over Molly's shoulder and realized that there was, in fact, a car parked at the bottom of her driveway, its engine still running and a male figure sitting in the driver's seat.

"He knows we met," Molly said. "He asks me every day if I talked to you. I told I snapped today, I told him what I said to you. He wasn't happy."

"Molly…"

"He's right," Molly said. "It's not your fault that Lexie and I weren't getting along. It's not your fault that our relationship changed. I wanted someone to blame, and I can't blame Lexie because she's dead, and how can you be mad at a dead person? So it was you, and that's not fair. I know it's not fair. So I'm sorry that I said all those things today, and I'm sorry that I yelled at you."

"You don't have to apologize, Molly," Meredith said. "I'd probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes. I mean, I spent at least six months constantly telling Lexie to leave me alone when she first showed up."

"Yeah, I heard all about that too," Molly said, a half smile on her face as she finally looked up at Meredith.

"Do you want to come in?" Meredith asked, stepping back slightly. "I just opened a bottle of wine."

"Um…yeah, okay," Molly said. "Just, um…just let me go let Dad know he doesn't have to wait, okay?"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I know I said this chapter would be up much sooner than this, so my apologies for the delay! In response to a couple of reviews and PMs I've received - please know that my intention would never be to abandon a story (and if that did every happen, I would update to let you all know), I just am in a very busy stage of my life/career, and do not always have time to write every day or even every week. I do this for fun and relaxation, and although I try to write as quickly as possible, I also try not to put pressure on myself with deadlines (I get enough of those in "real life")...so it might take me a little while to get an update out, but it will come, and all I can do is ask that you all be patient with me.

So, with that said - no promises on how long the next chapter will take, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

"What exactly are you making?" Molly asked, taking a sip of wine as she sat on a barstool at the kitchen island and watched Meredith attempting to stir a batter that was far too thick to be stirred.

"I told you, a cake," Meredith said in frustration. "My daughter turns six this weekend. We're having a party tomorrow."

"Have you ever made a cake before?" Molly asked.

"Of course I…" Meredith paused, looking down at the mess in front of her. "Okay, fine. I've never made a cake. Not on my own, anyway. Not that turned out edible."

"So why not just buy one?" Molly asked.

"I forgot," Meredith admitted. "I forgot that no one was taking care of the cake. Derek, my husband, he always did the cakes, and then after…well, I forgot I'd have to do it now."

Molly nodded and stood up, setting down her wine glass as she walked around to the counter and picked up the bowl, staring at the batter for a moment before shaking her head and taking it over to the sink.

"The second year is the hardest," she said, dumping Meredith's attempt down the drain before turning on the tap to wash out the bowl.

"What?"

"Here, dry this," Molly instructed, handing Meredith the bowl and turning her back to her as she set about re-measuring the dry ingredients. She worked in silence for a few minutes, quickly mixing the ingredients she needed, not bothering to look at the cookbook that was lying open on the counter.

"The first year, everything's new, and everyone wants to help," she eventually said, not looking over at Meredith, who was watching her intently. "Every day is a first for something - the first time one of the kids asks about him, the first time you have to tell someone you've just met that you're a widow, the first Christmas with no presents under the tree from Dad, the first birthday he doesn't at least call home. That first year, it never stops, it's just one new thing after another. And people are there, and they say they understand, and you get eleven different invitations for Christmas dinner even though all you want to do is lock the door and pretend it's just another day. And someone offers to plan all the birthday parties and you let them, because you're just going through the motions, trying to figure out who you are without him, if it's even possible to figure that out. But after that first anniversary, it's like someone flips a switch. Suddenly people want to know why you're still holding on, why you aren't dating, why you can't just move on. There are no more offers to help with parties for the kids and the holiday dinner invitations trickle off. You're still grieving, but the rest of world has moved on, and it doesn't hit you until year two."

Molly shook her head and turned around, handing Meredith an empty bowl. "Crack four eggs into this," she instructed before turning back to the counter. "Anyway, the second year's the worst, but you're almost through it. The third year gets a little…well, easier's the wrong word, it never gets easy. But maybe softer. Yeah, that's the word. The pain gets softer in the third year."

"How do you know how long my husband's been gone?" Meredith asked curiously, pausing with an egg in her hand as she realized she'd never even told Molly that her husband was dead, let along how long it had been.

"Dad told me," Molly said. "He saw the obituary in the paper when it happened."

"Oh, right," Meredith nodded. "How, uh…how is Thatcher?"

Molly hesitated, seeming to weigh her words carefully as she took the bowl of eggs from Meredith. "He's good," she finally said. "He's doing well."

"Do you see him a lot?"

"Well, we live with him, so…"

"You live with Thatcher?" Meredith asked in surprise.

Molly nodded as she poured the finished batter into a cake pan. "My husband died four and a half years ago, and I sort of fell apart," she said. "We were living in military housing at the time, so we couldn't stay there. They give you six months to move out, which seems like a really long time, until you're the one with four kids and a baby on the way, and you're trying to figure out how you're going to take care of them all and find a job and all the thousands of little things you don't think about until you're on your own."

Meredith sighed as she handed Molly her wine glass and nodded toward the couch. "I know the feeling," she said. "Come on, we should talk."

—

Meredith tucked her feet underneath her as she took a sip of her wine and curled into the corner of the couch, watching as Molly stood across the room and looked at the pictures on the living room wall.

"She looks happy," Molly said, running her finger across a picture of Lexie and Mark that Meredith had found and framed a few months after the crash. "Who is this with her?"

"Mark Sloan."

"Ah," Molly nodded as she continued looking at the picture. "You know, I don't think I ever saw a picture of him. She talked about him all the time, pretty much anything that wasn't about you was about him, but I never saw a picture. I can see why she fell for him, he's very…well…"

"McSteamy?" Meredith asked, realizing she hadn't said that nickname out loud in years.

Molly frowned. "Um, sure," she said, giving the picture a final look before turning and making her way to the couch, settling in opposite Meredith.

"She would have liked this," Meredith said.

"What?"

"This," Meredith said, gesturing between the two of them. "Us together. If she were here, she'd have that goofy half-smile that she got when she thought she'd done something really great. She made me promise that we'd do this, you know."

"This?" Molly asked skeptically, taking a sip of her wine.

"Well, not this specifically," Meredith acknowledged. "But something like it. Lunch or something. She wanted us to spend time together. It was important to her."

"Really?"

Meredith nodded. "She felt terrible about that last visit," she said. "She knew you were hurting, and she said she didn't know how to help and that it broke her heart to see you like that."

"She told you about it?" Molly asked.

"Just that something was going on, and she'd tried to distract you, but she felt like she failed," Meredith said. "I don't know exactly what was going on, or what was said, but if her way of distracting you was by bombarding you with pictures of me and my baby while yours was sick, I can see how that might not have been the best choice. I think social cues were never quite Lexie's strong suit."

Molly let out a short laugh. "Yeah, that's an understatement."

"She wanted to make things right," Meredith said. "I know she didn't express it very well those last few years, but she loved you, Molly. You were her sister, don't ever doubt that. She loved you and she wanted to fix things, she just didn't know how."


	11. Chapter 11

"This is a mistake. You should turn the car around. Turn the car around."

Richard sighed and shook his head as he hit his turn signal, pressing the brake gently as he pulled up to a stop sign and looked over at Maggie, who was staring at him from the passenger seat.

"Not happening," he said. "We're already late as it is."

"Right, but…"

"Maggie, I don't care if we get there and you stay in this car all afternoon, I'm not turning around," Richard said, turning his focus back to the road. "I have been to every single birthday party Zola has had, and I don't intend to miss this one because you're afraid to face Meredith."

"I am not…"

"You are," Richard interrupted knowingly.

"I am not _afraid_ of seeing Meredith," Maggie insisted. "I just think it's going to be awkward, that's all. And it's not fair to Zola to put that out there at her birthday party."

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward."

Maggie shook her head. "Richard, I haven't seen or spoken to Meredith since the day she quit," she said. "I got mad and I yelled and I told her that she was a selfish person. I moved out of the house so fast I had to sleep in the on call rooms at the hospital for the next week because I had no place to stay. It's been over a month now, and I haven't taken a single one of her calls. In what universe is it possible for me to be face to face with her and have it not be awkward?"

"Well, you're going to have to see her at some point," Richard said, focusing on the road in front of him again. "She's your sister, Maggie. That means something, even if the two of you haven't figured out exactly what yet."

"I'm not the one who doesn't have things figured out," Maggie said. "I know what it means to be a sister. She doesn't, apparently."

Richard sighed as he maneuvered the car around another corner but didn't respond.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Maggie asked impatiently, not missing the meaning behind the sigh. "Are you on her side? You think I'm the one who's being unreasonable?"

"Oh no, I'm no getting in the middle of this," Richard said. "This is between you and Meredith."

"And yet you clearly have an opinion," Maggie said. "Let's hear it."

Richard hesitated. "It's just…alright, what exactly is it you want from Meredith, Maggie? What are you looking for?"

"What do you mean?"

"I understand that you're upset," Richard said. "I'm not judging that, you have a right to your feelings."

"But…?"

Richard sighed and glanced over at his daughter. "But how do you see this situation resolving? What exactly is it that you see coming from this?"

"I'm not following," Maggie said in confusion.

"How does this end for you, Maggie?" Richard asked. "What do you want from Meredith? What are you waiting for to end this?"

"I don't know," Maggie admitted.

"Well, it's something you ought to think about," Richard said. "Like I said, you have a right to be angry. But at some point, you have to narrow down what it is you're angry about. If you don't know what it is you're looking for from Meredith, or under what circumstances you might forgive her, then you're going to be angry for a very, very long time."

* * *

Amelia smiled as she walked up to the picnic table and grabbed a water bottle from the cooler. Looking around as she took a sip, she nodded toward her sister-in-law as she approached, not missing the way she was surveying the assembled crowd.

"She'll be here."

Meredith shook her head. "I wish I had your confidence," she said. "I left so many messages, I practically begged her to be here today. And if she doesn't show up, it's going to break Zola's heart."

"I'm not confident," Amelia said, holding up her cell phone. "I'm informed. Richard texted me ten minutes that they were running late at the hospital but that he's on his way and Maggie is with him."

"She's coming?"

"Are you ready to see her?" Amelia asked. "I mean, you haven't seen her since the day you quit."

"I know," Meredith said. "But we're never going to figure things out if she keeps avoiding me, so maybe this is a good thing. Besides, Zola will be happy she's here, and that's all that matters today."

"Well, even if it's super awkward or it all goes to hell and you two start fighting, at least the weather cooperated," Amelia said, pointing up at the cloudless sky. "I have to say, Meredith, I had my doubts about an outdoor party in February, but you managed to pull it off. And Zola looks like she's having a blast."

Meredith smiled as she watched Zola and one of her friends clambering around in the bounce house under Owen's watchful eye.

"Yeah, she does," she agreed. "Did you talk to Owen today?"

"Seriously? It's your daughter's birthday party," Amelia said. "You want to use now to lecture me about my marriage?"

"So there is a marriage still?" Meredith asked.

Amelia sighed. "We are not having this conversation today…or ever, really," she said, looking around for a change of subject. "Hey, where'd you get the cake? It looks nice. Is it from that new bakery over by the dry cleaners?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Fine, we can talk about cake," she said. "No, it's not from a bakery. That cake came out of my kitchen."

"You're telling me that _you_ made that cake?" Amelia asked skeptically.

"Would that be so hard to believe?"

"Yes."

Meredith frowned as Alex came up behind her and grabbed a beer from the cooler on the table.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because beyond the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches you send the kids to school with, nothing edible has ever come out of that kitchen when you're involved," he said. "So I'm with Amelia on this one, you didn't have anything to do with that cake, it actually looks good."

"I think I should be offended," Meredith said. "My cooking is not that bad. I have three children who are well fed and well nourished and I get no complaints from them. But if it will make you feel better, fine. I didn't make the cake. I did help, though."

"You helped?" Amelia asked.

"I cracked some eggs and I stirred some things," Meredith said. "Don't ask me what, I don't know, I just did what Molly told me to do."

"Who's Molly?" Alex asked.

"Wait, you mean your sister?" Amelia asked. "I thought she didn't want anything to do with you?"

"She didn't," Meredith said. "I'm not a hundred percent sure she does now. But she kind of went off on me at the hospital yesterday morning, and she came over to apologize last night. She saw me attempting to make a cake, and she rescued it."

"Rescued it?"

"Okay, fine, she threw my attempt out and started over," Meredith admitted. "Happy now?"

"So, you two are baking together now?" Amelia asked. "That's very domestic."

"Hold on a minute, are we talking about Lexie's sister here?" Alex asked. "The one who lived in the Middle East somewhere? When did she come back on the scene?"

"Ages ago, Karev, try to keep up here," Amelia said. "So is she coming today? I assume after you made her do your baking, you at least invited her to come to the party."

"I mentioned it," Meredith said. "But we're not there yet. I'm not sure if we'll ever be, but we'll see how it goes."

"Where are you, then?" Amelia asked.

"We're…I don't know, we're talking," Meredith said. "We're learning how to do this."

"You've had how many long-lost sisters show up over the years?" Alex asked. "What's left to learn?"

"Everything," Meredith said. "She's not Lexie, she's not Maggie, and even if she was, I'm not the same person I was when either of them came into my life. So, we're figuring it out, I guess. It'll take time, and I don't know whether we'll end up being close, or just being friends, or just saying hello on the hallway occasionally. But she's nice."

"You like her," Amelia said in surprise.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you're buying all that take-it-slow crap," Amelia said. "You actually like her, and you're afraid you're going to scare her away."

"I am not scared," Meredith said. "I just don't have a great track record with sisters, you know that. And yes, I like her. She's been through a lot since the last time we met, she's not doe-eyed or naive. I can relate to her, even if we had very different upbringings. So yeah, I want things to work out. I mean, I'll be completely okay if they don't, I was fine before she showed up in my life, but I'll admit, there is a part of me that wants things to work. So I'm just trying not to do anything that'll deliberately screw things up."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the positive feedback on the last chapter! I love that so many of you are wanting more Molly/Meredith interactions (I really, really want to see this character reappear on the show) - I promise, there's a lot more to come. This whole story was sketched out ages ago, and we're going to see lots of familiar faces pop up at one point or another (yes, for those who asked, including Thatcher - although differently than he's coming back on the show, I'm sure). This chapter is primarily focused on Meredith/Maggie, but I promise Molly will be back in the next chapter!

* * *

"They're here."

Meredith followed Alex's gaze across the park to the street, where Richard and Maggie were stepping out of his car.

"Good," she said.

"You ready for this?" Alex asked curiously.

Meredith sighed and shook her head, reaching out and grabbing the beer out of Alex's hand. Taking a long swig from the bottle, she swallowed hard before handing it back to him.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she said, slowly standing up from the bench as her former boss and her sister approached.

"Meredith, everything looks great," Richard said, setting a present on the nearby table before turning to give Meredith a quick hug. "Thank you for including us."

"Of course," Meredith said. "I'm sure Zola is going to be thrilled to see you, assuming we can ever get her out of that bounce house."

Richard laughed. "She looks like she's having a great time," he said. "And you look good too. How are things over at Seattle Pres?"

"They're good," Meredith said, weighing her words carefully. "It's been an adjustment, getting used to a different culture, but I think things are going well."

"I'm glad to hear it," Richard said, glancing over his shoulder at Maggie, who looked like she might make a run for it at any moment. "You know, I think I'm going to go say hello to the kids. Karev, care to join me?"

"Subtle," Maggie commented, watching as the two men walked away, leaving the two sisters alone for the first time in more than a month.

"I'm glad you came," Meredith said.

"I'm here for Zola's sake," Maggie said. "Not because I forgive you."

"I know," Meredith said. "And I appreciate that you're here for her. She's going to be very happy to see you. I know she's missed having you around the house every day."

"What did you tell her when I left?"

"That you'd decided it was time to get a place of your own," Meredith said. "She's used to people coming and going in the house, so I don't think it was hard for her to understand that you'd moved out. It was a bit trickier to explain why you'd done it without so much as a goodbye to the kids. I'm still not sure she understands that."

"You know I had to do it that way," Maggie said.

"No, you didn't," Meredith countered. "If you wanted to move out, fine. If you wanted to be angry at me, fine. But whether you like it or not, you're a part of my children's lives, Maggie. If seeing me was the problem, there've been plenty of times over the last month that they were home with Alex or Amelia and I wasn't there. All you had to do was ask. They deserved better than for you to cut them out of your life like that."

"I didn't…"

"They saw you every day, Maggie," Meredith pointed out. "For over a year, you've been almost as much a part of their daily lives as I have, and then all of a sudden you were gone without a word. The last time someone dropped out of their lives like that, it was Derek, and he was dead. You don't have that excuse. You could have called, you could have come by to see them, even once would have been helpful. Do you know how hard it was for me to try to explain to the kids why you wouldn't have anything to do with them?"

"It wasn't about them," Maggie insisted.

"They're little kids, Maggie, to them _everything_ is about them," Meredith said. "Although, if you were looking for a way to hurt me, doing it through the kids probably was the way to go."

"Meredith…"

"Look, I don't want to fight with you, Maggie," Meredith said. "We've got a lot of things to work out, but today isn't about us, it's about Zola. Whatever I have to say to you can wait."

"What _you_ have to say to _me_?" Maggie repeated. "So now you finally want to talk?"

"Not today, Maggie," Meredith reiterated. "If you're ready to talk, I'm happy to talk, but not today. Not here, not now. There'll be a time and a place, but this isn't it. You know how to find me."

"But I…"

"Aunt Maggie!"

Maggie paused as Zola came running up and threw her arms around her waist. Forcing a smile on her face, Maggie bent down and returned her hug.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," Maggie said, kissing her cheek.

"Aunt Maggie, I missed you so much," Zola said. "Where did you go?"

Maggie hesitated. "I had some things I had to do," she said. "I'm sorry, honey, I wish I could have said goodbye."

"You should have," Zola said, with a sincerity that almost made Meredith laugh from her spot behind Maggie.

"You're right, I should have," Maggie agreed. "I'm sorry. But I'm here now, and I can't wait to celebrate your birthday!"

"You have to come see the bouncy castle," Zola said, taking Maggie's hand. "It's so fun!"

* * *

"Hey."

Meredith looked up as Arizona sat down next to her on the bench, her hands clenched nervously in front of her as she slowly lowered herself down.

"I, uh, I really appreciated the invitation," Arizona said.

"Just because I left Grey Sloan doesn't mean I wanted to leave everyone behind," Meredith said, hesitating for a moment. "Although I do appreciate you coming alone."

"Meredith, you have to know that I never intended to hurt you," Arizona said. "I didn't set out for something to happen with Eliza and I…"

"Arizona, you don't have to explain it to me," Meredith said. "Who sleep with is your business, not mine."

"It doesn't mean I agree with Bailey or…"

"Arizona," Meredith said, a hint of warning in her voice.

"Right, shut up," Arizona said, smiling as she shook her head nervously. "Sorry."

Meredith nodded as they both turned their attention toward the children running around the playground.

"It feels weird to be here without Sophia," Arizona admitted. "I keep looking out there, expecting to see her right next to Zola."

"She'll be here for the summer, won't she?" Meredith asked.

"I think so," Arizona said. "Callie and I were supposed to sort all of that out last week, but she had other things she wanted to talk about when she called."

"The anniversary?"

"How did you…?"

"She called me about it," Meredith said. "She called Cristina too, apparently. I think she thought if she could get her on board, it would be easier to convince me to go for it."

Arizona laughed. "She called Cristina? I'm guessing that didn't go well."

"Cristina hung up on her," Meredith said. "I just don't know why Callie always insists on doing things like this. Doesn't she get that we'd rather just not think about that day?"

"It's different for her," Arizona said. "I mean, she lost Mark, but it was a different experience for her because she wasn't there."

"You might want to remind her of that from time to time," Meredith said.

"I know, she acts like she was there sometimes," Arizona said. "I think with all of us saying no, she'll let this go."

"It's not that I don't want to remember Lexie…" Meredith sighed. "But if I didn't force myself to ignore those dates, I wouldn't be able to function until summertime."

"Why?"

"Because it isn't just the plane crash," Meredith said. "Derek died at the end of March. The plane crash was the first week of April. The day George died, it's two weeks after that. A week after that is when my Mom died. The hospital shooting, that was in May. If I thought about dates, I wouldn't get out of bed for three months straight, Arizona."

"I know," Arizona said. "I get it. I do, I get it. All I want to do on that day is stay home and drink."

"Here here," Meredith agreed, holding up her water bottle. "Now that's a memorial service I could get behind. We should just do that instead."

"I don't know that it's quite what Callie had in mind," Arizona said.

"She wasn't there," Meredith repeated. "We survived a plane crash, that ought to earn us veto power for something."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** So...there were some pretty mixed reactions to the last chapter. I can certainly understand that, but please know that while I certainly lean more sympathetic toward Meredith, I'm not trying to write either side of the Meredith/Maggie argument as "perfect" and so they may both handle things in ways you might think aren't the best. I hope that you'll stick with it as they work through those (sometimes messy) steps to repairing their relationship over the coming chapters.

In the meantime, this chapter brings us a bit more Meredith/Molly interaction and some storyline progression in other areas, which I hope you will all enjoy!

* * *

"So I hear you had a party and didn't invite me."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she took the cup of coffee that Nathan held out for her as she walked past him into the lobby of Seattle Presbyterian a few days later.

"I'm going to pretend that I'm not deeply hurt by this fact," he said, following her toward the elevators.

"It was a children's party," Meredith pointed out. "It was a whole bunch of screaming kids and a bounce house."

"I like kids," Nathan said, smiling as they stopped in front of the elevators.

"What are you even doing here?" Meredith asked. "I know you have better things to do on your day off than follow me around this hospital."

"Not really," Nathan said. "I still don't have any friends here other than you."

"Okay, well, that's pathetic," Meredith said. "You've been in Seattle for what, a year? It's time to put some effort in, Nathan."

"You and I are friends," Nathan said. "So that's a start, right?"

"We are not friends," Meredith said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Now that hurts," Nathan said.

"Deal with it."

Nathan laughed and shook his head. "See, if I didn't know that we were friends, I'd think you were being mean to me, when all I've done is bring you coffee."

Meredith rolled her eyes as the elevator doors opened and she stepped in, knowing that he would follow her on. Turning around, she pressed the button for her floor and waited for the doors to close, feeling slightly relieved when at the last second, a hand forced the closing doors to reopen for one more person.

"Meredith," Molly said, nodding as she stepped onto the elevator.

"Molly," Meredith returned her nod politely before silence settled in the elevator as she and Molly deliberately avoided each other's gaze and focused intently on the numbers ticking by as the elevator went up.

"So…" Riggs said hesitantly, glancing back and forth between the two with no idea what had caused the sudden tension in the small space. "Dr. Grey, what time should I pick you up for dinner on Friday?"

Meredith turned her head and glared at him. "What?" she asked in surprise. "I am not having dinner with you on Friday."

"Do you have other plans?"

"That is not the point," Meredith said. "I am not going out with you."

"Of course you are," Riggs said. "I've asked you nineteen times before now, and you've said no every time. Twentieth time's lucky, you know. I feel like at this point I've brought you enough coffee that you owe me."

"Don't push your luck," Meredith cautioned.

"Your sister already knows about us, you really have no excuse," Riggs said, earning a strange look from Molly just as the elevator doors opened. "So…Friday. I'll pick you up at 7."

"I didn't…" Meredith frowned as Riggs slipped out of the elevator before she could finish her refusal. "Wait, where are you going?"

"See you on Friday!" Riggs called out, leaving Meredith to shake her head as the doors closed again.

"Why does it matter that I know about whatever that was?"

Meredith turned at the sound of Molly's voice, having almost forgotten she was still in the elevator. "What do you mean?"

"That guy said your sister already knows," Molly said. "What exactly is it that I know?"

"Oh, right, no," Meredith said quickly. "Um, he meant Maggie. She, uh, she's…well, she's my sister."

"You have another sister?" Molly asked.

"Yeah," Meredith admitted. "It was a bit of a surprise to me too. She's, um, about Lexie's age, a little younger maybe. My mother was pregnant when we moved to Boston. I didn't know it at the time, of course, but…yeah."

"Pregnant? But she's not…I mean, Dad didn't…"

"Oh, God, no," Meredith quickly assured her. "You know what, why don't you come to my office for a few minutes? This could take a little explaining."

* * *

"Alright, let me get this straight," Molly said, leaning slightly forward as she sat cross-legged on the couch in Meredith's office. "Your mom had a baby with the guy she cheated on Dad with? And then she put that baby up for adoption? And you didn't know anything about this?"

"Secret long-lost sisters are sort of my thing," Meredith said.

"Apparently," Molly agreed. "And now you're avoiding the hot guy who brings you coffee on his day off - who, by the way, you have already admitted was really good in bed - all…"

"Not bed," Meredith corrected. "Back seat of the car."

"Wherever," Molly said, shaking her head. "My point is, you're missing out on amazing sex with a hot guy who is totally into you, all because this Maggie person had a crush on him? Even though he was never interested in her, and nothing ever happened between them?"

"Basically, yeah," Meredith said.

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Meredith," Molly said. "Take it from someone who doesn't have guys falling all over themselves for her, this is not an everyday occurrence for most people. Take advantage of it. Go out with him!"

"I can't," Meredith said.

"Why not?"

"It's complicated," Meredith said.

"I hate to break it to you, but you're a single mother with three kids, a dysfunctional family, and a very demanding job," Molly said. "Complicated is all there is from here on out, Meredith, you'd better get used to it. Dating as a single parent sucks. I mean, dating in general sucks, but especially as a single mother."

"I just don't know if I'm ready for all of this," Meredith said. "How long did you wait after your husband died?"

"Oh, I'm the wrong one to ask about that," Molly said. "I have a built-in guy repellent, so dating hasn't really been an issue for me."

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"Well, despite the fact that I don't really go to bars or the fact that I only stopped wearing my wedding ring six months ago, I do still sometimes get asked out," Molly said. "But if you're ever looking to scare a guy off really fast, just tell you've got five kids at home. Then sit back and watch how fast he runs away. It's pretty foolproof."

"Really?"

"I mean, I get it," Molly said. "Five kids is a lot. People thought it was a lot even when I was married and not dating. You should have heard some of the comments I got when I was pregnant with Allie. People asking if she was a mistake, joking about whether we'd figured out how that was happening yet, asking if I was planning to get my tubes tied after the baby was born. I had one woman who I'd never met before stop me in the PX and tell me I was being horribly irresponsible for bringing that many lives into this world."

"You're kidding," Meredith said. "That actually happened?"

Molly nodded. "I wish I were making it up," she said. "And that was all when I had a husband in the picture. Trust me, no one wants to date the single mom with half a little league team at home. Oh, the single mother who, by the way, in case anyone needed another nail in the coffin of my social life, still lives with her father and his wife."

Meredith shook her head. "Alright, I guess I could see how that wouldn't make for the most appealing dating pitch," she agreed, pausing as a thought occurred to her. "I'm sorry, did you say you live with your father and _his wife_?"

"Oh, yeah, did you not know about that?" Molly asked. "Lexie would be rolling in her grave, she tolerated her but she wasn't exactly Dani's biggest fan. She used call her dad's tattooed midlife crisis."

"Wait a minute, you mean the woman he picked up in AA?" Meredith asked. "The one who was, like, twenty-five or something?"

"Danielle," Molly nodded. "They got married about a year ago."

"Really?" Meredith asked in surprise, leaning back in her chair. "Huh. I would have thought he might have mentioned that."

Molly frowned. "Do you talk to him?" she asked.

"Not exactly," Meredith said.

"It's okay if you do," Molly said. "It's a good thing, really. I just thought you two hadn't spoken since Lexie's funeral. He never mentioned anything."

"I haven't exactly talked to him," Meredith said. "You're right, the last time I spoke to him was around the time of Lexie's funeral. But, uh, he came to Derek's funeral."

"Really?" Molly asked. "He never said a word to me about going."

Meredith shrugged. "He stood in the back. I saw him, he knew I saw him, but he didn't try to talk to me," she said. "Which, honestly, I kind of appreciated. I didn't even want to talk to my best friends that day, let alone my estranged father. I thought that might actually be the last time I ever heard from him, a sympathetic nod across a church. But then a few weeks later, he called."

"What did you talk about?"

"We didn't," Meredith said. "I had taken the kids and left town after Derek died. I just couldn't be here, couldn't be around all those people who knew him, who'd be watching me like a hawk, waiting for me to fall apart. I couldn't take it. So we just left, and I didn't tell anyone. I guess my friend Alex, he called Thatcher. He'd seen him at the funeral, and I guess he thought maybe he'd know where I'd gone. He didn't, but he did call and leave a message on my phone to check in. And he's called every month or two since then. I never pick up, but he always leaves pretty much the same message, saying he's thinking about me, just wanted to say hello, that sort of thing. Then he always if I ever want to talk, I can call, and that he hopes I'm okay. And then he hangs up."

"And you've never picked up?"

"I've thought about it," Meredith said. "I've had the phone in my hand, finger over the 'accept' button a couple of times, but I just haven't been able to do it."

"Why not?"

"Honestly? Every time I've let him in, he's let me down," Meredith said. "I don't know what I want out of a relationship with him at this point, but in a way, it's just easier to let it be a possible thing rather than actually try and be disappointed again."

"That makes sense," Molly said, leaning back against the couch.

"That's it?" Meredith asked. "You're not going to try to convince me to talk to him? No lectures on what a great guy he is, how I should give him a chance?"

Molly sighed and shook her head. "Honestly? From everything I've heard from my mom and then from Lexie, even from Dani…Meredith, we don't have the same father," she said. "Biologically, sure, but beyond that? The father who raised me, the man who cried on my wedding day, the man who stood by me through some of the worst days of my life, who has stepped up for me and for my kids more than I could have ever asked for…I know that that isn't what he's been to you. And if I had a magic wand that I could wave and give you the dad that I had, I would do it in a heartbeat. I wish I knew what his hold up was, what it is that makes it so hard for him to connect with you, but I don't. So I have no intention of judging whatever you choose to do or not do with Dad. Now, avoiding the hot guy because you're afraid of what it might mean? _That_ I will judge."

"Hey…"

"Look, if you're really, truly not ready to date again, that's fine," Molly said. "But if it's because you're scared of what it means in terms of letting go of your dead husband, of all the plans you had together…well, it's never going to get less scary, Meredith. At some point, you're just going to have rip off the bandaid." Molly paused as a mischievous smile crossed her lips. "And, hopefully, if things go well, all his clothes too."

* * *

That night, Meredith's hands were shaking as she sat alone in the kitchen, staring at the phone in her hands.

"Just rip the bandaid," she muttered to herself, shaking her head at the all-too-familiar words. "Because that's never backfired on me."

With a heavy sigh, she scrolled through her contacts until she found the number she was looking for, and closed her eyes as she hit 'dial' and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hi," she said hesitantly. "It's me. Meredith."

Meredith leaned forward, her heart pounding nervously in her chest as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, I know you probably weren't expecting to hear from me tonight," she said. "Listen, I was hoping maybe we could talk. Just, you know, maybe start with coffee?"


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Just wanted to say a quick thank you to all of you for sticking with this story despite the long delays between chapters! I appreciate each and every one of you!

* * *

Meredith frowned as she stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom that Friday night and nervously pulled at the hem of her shirt. Turning slightly to the side, she shook her head and turned away from the mirror as the thought of canceling once again crossed her mind.

"You look pretty, Mom."

Meredith smiled as Zola walked into the room and hopped up onto her bed.

"Thank you, Zo," she said. "I thought you were going to help Aunt Amy make dinner?"

"Mom, her recipe is four whole pages long," Zola said. "She's going to give up and order pizza in an hour anyway. Aunt Maggie and Uncle Owen are the only people in this family who can really cook, and you and Aunt Amy are fighting with them so they don't come over anymore."

Meredith sighed.

"Besides, I wanted to come help you get ready for your date," Zola said with a grin.

"Who said anything about a date?" Meredith asked.

"Aunt Amy said you had a hot date tonight," Zola said. "Don't you?"

Meredith shook her head as she picked up her hair brush and turned back to the mirror. "It's just dinner with a friend," she said.

"A friend who's a boy? Like, a boyfriend?"

"Zola, you're six years old," Meredith said. "You're a bit young for us to be having conversations about boyfriends."

"Mom, I'm very advanced for my age," Zola announced. "Mrs. Andrews even says so at kindergarten, and she's a teacher, she knows about these things."

"Is that so?"

"Uh huh," Zola nodded. "Mom, did you and Dad go on dates before you got me?"

"We did," Meredith said.

"And then you got married and got me, and Bailey and Ellis?"

"Something like that, yeah," Meredith said.

"Are you gonna marry this guy?"

Meredith sighed and set her hair brush down. "Zo, I'm not ready to marry anybody," she said, turning to face her daughter.

"But are you going to get married again?"

"I don't know," Meredith admitted, sitting down next to Zola on the edge of the bed. "Look, Zo, your dad and I loved each other very much, and that's not something that you find every day. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but nothing is ever going to change the way I feel about your dad."

"I know," Zola said. "I miss him a lot."

"Me too," Meredith said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

"But I still think you should get a boyfriend," Zola said.

"What?" Meredith leaned back in confusion.

"Mom, you're lonely," Zola said matter-of-factly. "You need to get out more. Have some fun."

"Alright, that's it," Meredith said, shaking her head as she stood up and held out her hand to her daughter. "No more unsupervised television for you, because I know you're not picking these things up from Doc McStuffins."

Zola giggled as she followed Meredith out of the bedroom and down the stairs, smiling knowingly at the nervous look on her mother's face when the doorbell rang.

* * *

"You know, for being the one who insisted on going out, you're kind of quiet," Meredith observed, glancing across the center console as Nathan pulled up to a traffic light and stopped his car.

"Honestly?" he asked, looking over at her for a moment before returning his gaze to the road. "I wasn't expecting you to actually open the door when I showed up tonight."

"You thought I'd stand you up?"

"Well, you didn't ever actually agree to go out with me," Nathan said. "I just kind of put it out there and took off before you could reject me again. The only witness I had was that nurse in the elevator with us, and she looked like she didn't have a clue what was going on…might not be the sharpest crayon in the box, that one"

"Careful, that's my sister you're talking about," Meredith said without even thinking.

Nathan started to laugh until he turned his head and saw the look on her face. "You're serious?" he asked. "Another sister?"

"You remember when I told you I thought I'd seen my dead sister's ghost at Seattle Pres?"

"I do."

"Turns out it wasn't her ghost," Meredith said. "I'd only met Molly a few times over the years, and I'd honestly almost forgotten my father had had two other daughters. I certainly never expected to run into her when I took the new job, but here we are. All in all, she's a little standoffish, but we're getting along alright."

"Any other siblings I should know about?" Nathan asked.

"Not that I know of," Meredith said. "But hey, ten years ago I would have said I didn't have any at all, so who knows? Maybe there's a secret brother hidden out there or something, I've never had one of those."

"You ought to think about writing a book," Nathan said. "No one would believe it, but I'll bet it would sell."

"I'll keep that in mind if the surgery thing doesn't work out," Meredith said. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Any secret siblings?" Meredith asked. "Undiscovered family members lurking in the corners?"

Nathan hesitated, focusing on the road as he steered the car around a corner.

"Oh," Meredith's eyes widened slightly. "I was joking…but there are, aren't there?"

"It's a long story," Nathan said, pulling the car into a driveway at the end of a cul-de-sac. "Anyway, here we are."

"I thought we were going to dinner. Where are we?" Meredith asked, leaning forward to stare at the townhouse in front of them.

"I said dinner, I never said we were going to a restaurant," Nathan said, grinning at the look of confusion on her face.

* * *

"Okay, that was amazing," Meredith said, setting down her fork and leaning back in her chair as she stared across the table at Nathan. "Be honest, you didn't really cook all that, did you?"

"Are you calling me a liar, Dr. Grey?" Nathan said.

"I'm just saying, this is restaurant quality stuff," Meredith said. "If I go check the trash can under the sink, am I going to find those foil take out containers?"

"Well, for starters, if I was trying to pass off take-out as my own cooking, I wouldn't be that obvious," Nathan said. "And second, that's offensive. Why would you think I can't cook?"

"I don't know," Meredith said. "Did they teach you this in the army?"

Nathan laughed, shaking his head as he stood up to clear the dishes. "If we'd eaten like this in the army, I might still be wearing that uniform," he said.

"Okay, so you didn't learn this in an army kitchen," Meredith said, following him into the kitchen with her wine glass in hand. "Did you get one of those meal services, the ones where they send you everything?"

"Nope, this is all me," he said, nodding toward the pots still sitting on the stove. "You think that mess comes from pre-made stuff?"

"Alright, assuming that I concede that you cooked this," Meredith said. "Where on earth did you learn how to cook like that?"

"Well, I sort of grew up in restaurant kitchens," Nathan said, pausing as he refilled his wine glass. "My parents were both chefs."

"Really?"

"Yup," Nathan nodded. "They ran a bed and breakfast down in New Zealand when I was a kid. My dad mostly handled the business side of things when they were married, but I grew up helping my mom in the kitchen until we moved up here."

"Why'd you move?" Meredith asked, taking a sip of her wine as they walked into the living room.

"Oh, that's a long story," Nathan said, settling in on the couch.

"Come on, you know all of my drama," Meredith pointed out, tucking her legs underneath her as she sat opposite him on the couch.

"Somehow I doubt that," Nathan said. "I know your sister drama. You haven't told me anything about your childhood, really."

"Alright, you want a tit-for-tat? I can play that game," Meredith said, pausing as she considered where to start. "My parents divorced when I was five because my mother was having an affair with Richard Webber."

Nathan raised an eyebrow.

"Where exactly did you think Maggie came from?" Meredith asked.

Nathan shrugged. "I hadn't really thought about it, I suppose."

"Your turn," Meredith reminded him.

"Okay," Nathan nodded. "Well, my parents divorced when I was seven because my father found out that my mother had had an affair and didn't actually know if he was my biological father or not."

"Was he?" Meredith asked.

Nathan shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "I didn't found out that was why they divorced until I was eighteen. Dad offered to do a paternity test if I wanted one, but I never felt like I needed it."

"Why not?"

"After my parents divorced, my mother moved back here to Seattle and she brought me with her," Nathan explained. "My brother and sisters were a lot older, so they stayed down in New Zealand, and I spent every summer down there with them and with Dad. He never once let on that I might be someone else's son, and he never once treated me any different than my siblings. When I found out that I might not be his son, I was confused and angry and I felt my whole world was falling apart. But then when we sat down and he offered to take that test, I could see in his eyes, the thought of finding out for sure that I wasn't his, it was eating him up inside. He was my dad, in every way that mattered, and I didn't need a DNA test to tell me that. So I never did it."

"You weren't angry at him for not telling you?" Meredith asked.

"He's not the one who had an affair," Nathan said. "I was angry with my mother, furious really, but Dad was as much a victim in all of it as I was. The guy my mother had an affair with, when he found out she was pregnant, he flat out told her he didn't want anything to do with it. All my dad ever did was love me, how could I be angry at him for that?"

"So you never found out?"

Nathan shook his head. "Isn't it your turn now?" he asked, taking a large sip of his wine as he looked over at her.

"Okay," Meredith said. "I grew up as an only child with just my mother around. I didn't see or hear from my father from the time I was about eight until I knocked on his door when I was an intern. I didn't know I had sisters until the day my youngest sister, Molly, was admitted to the old Seattle Grace with complications during her first pregnancy. That's when I met my father's new wife and found out he'd had two daughters with her. Your turn."

Nathan sighed and nodded. "My oldest sister and two of my aunts were furious with me after I refused to take the paternity test," he said. "They even went to court after my dad died, trying to get a judge to say I had to do it in order to get the inheritance my dad left me. The judge threw the case out, said my dad knew what he was doing when he made his will, and if he didn't care about a test, neither did the courts. I haven't spoken to them since that day in court."

Meredith leaned forward, putting her wine glass down on the coffee table before moving closer to him on the couch.

"So you've got a pretty screwed up family tree too," she said.

Nathan laughed dryly and nodded. "Yeah, you could say that," he said. "My mother lives about half a mile from here, but I haven't spoken to her since I was twenty years old. I was in the grocery store the other day and I thought I saw her at the end of the aisle, so I turned around and left. I'm forty-two years old and I left a cart of groceries in the middle of a store and ran so that I wouldn't have say hello to my own mother."

"I haven't spoken to my father since Lexie's funeral almost five years ago," Meredith said. "And yet I'm supposed to be having coffee with him tomorrow morning. Which will obviously involve talking, which is almost always awkward with us."

"Why now?" Nathan asked.

"I don't know," Meredith admitted. "He disappeared from my life after the divorce, and in a way I can understand that, because my mother could be very intimidating and he was…well, I guess the nice way to put would be to say he was a bit of a coward. Lexie adored him, of course she did, he was an actual dad to her. She desperately wanted us to be this perfect reconciled family, but his wife died and he was in a bad place for a long time, and I just, I had a lot going on and I wasn't interested. The couple of times I let my guard down and let him in, it either didn't go well or he just make the effort. He starting reaching out after Derek died, but then I was in a bad place, so I never did anything about it."

"What changed?"

"Well, I'm not in a bad place anymore," Meredith said. "And then there's Molly. She's so much the opposite of Lexie. She's not naive, she's not pushy, she doesn't have any romantic ideas about us being some big happy family somehow. She's not trying to sell me on the idea of her father. But then every now and then she says something and it just doesn't mesh with the image of him I have in my mind. So I guess right now I'm just curious which one guy he is, because if he's the one I knew five years ago, I don't really think I need that man in my life again. But this guy who calls me just to check in even though he knows I'm probably never going to answer, the guy who's been a rock for Molly since her husband died…I kind of want to meet that guy. I don't know where it goes from there, I don't know if I want to go anywhere from there."


	15. Chapter 15

"It's about time you got here," Amelia said, standing up as Alex walked into the kitchen the next morning. "We can't all just sit around all day waiting for you to show up, you know. Some of us have lives outside this house."

Alex shook his head as he opened the refrigerator door and stared at the shelves for a moment before grabbing the orange juice. "Amelia, I spent the night in a ten hour trauma surgery," he said. "I'm way too tired for your crap right now. If you've got something to say, say it."

"Okay, well that sunny attitude is not going to get you very far with the kids, so you might want to hit the coffee," Amelia said, grabbing her purse off the counter. "Zola should be back from her playdate after lunch, Bailey's in the living room doing something with that block puzzle he's obsessed with, and I put Ellis down for her nap about twenty minutes ago, so you should have another twenty or thirty before she wakes up."

"Where are you going?"

"It's Saturday and I'm not working, I'm going to enjoy the city," Amelia said. "I don't exist just to be Meredith's de facto babysitter."

Alex frowned as he took a sip of his juice. "So you have no plans, and you're dumping the kids on me to prove a point to Meredith."

"That's not what I said."

"No, but it's what you meant," Alex said. "Where is Meredith anyway?"

"Beats me," Amelia said. "She didn't get back from her date with Riggs until at two or three in the morning, and then she was up at like seven o'clock. She said something about meeting some guy for coffee."

"Some guy? You mean Riggs?"

"No, it was a different guy," Amelia said. "I didn't get the sense it was a date. She told me his name but it wasn't one I'd heard before. I think it was Thatcher, or something weird like that."

Alex nearly dropped his glass in shock as his eyes widened and he stared at Amelia.

"What?" she asked. "You're looking at me like I just sprouted a second head."

"You're sure she said she was having coffee with Thatcher?" Alex asked.

"Pretty sure, yeah," Amelia said. "Why? Who is he?"

"In my experience, bad news," Alex said. "He's her father."

* * *

Meredith hesitated as she pushed open the door to the diner, fighting the urge to turn around and leave as soon as she stepped into the building. Looking around, she was surprised to see Thatcher already sitting there in a corner booth. She took a deep breath as she stood at the door, taking a step forward just as he spotted her and stood up to greet her. They stood awkwardly next to the table for a moment, seemingly both waiting for the other to make the first move, before Thatcher motioned for her to sit down and they both settled in on opposite sides of the booth.

"Hi," Thatcher eventually said, sounding almost as nervous as she felt. "I, uh…it's really good to see you."

"Yeah," Meredith nodded awkwardly. "Thanks for meeting me. I wasn't sure you'd come."

"I was a little surprised when you called," Thatcher admitted, pausing as he considered how his words might sound. "Not in a bad way, I don't mean that. I was happy to hear from you, I just…I guess I thought you probably weren't ever going to reach out."

"But you kept calling," Meredith said. "If you thought I was never going to pick up…"

"It's the story of my life, with you and with other parts of my life," Thatcher said. "I stop trying. Things get hard, or they look bad, and I stop trying. I didn't want to do that anymore. I wanted to try to be different, whether it worked out or not."

Meredith nodded. "Is that an AA thing?"

"Sort of," Thatcher said. "It's really a Danielle thing. She's big on self-improvement."

Meredith smiled at the way he looked like he was trying to avoid rolling his eyes. "Molly told me you got married," she said. "I sort of thought…"

"It was a really small thing," Thatcher said. "Just us and Molly and Dani's sister, really. I thought about calling you, sending an invitation, but I…"

"Thatcher, I'm not mad," Meredith quickly assured him. "We haven't spoken in almost five years, I didn't expect you to invite me to your wedding. I was just going to stay congratulations."

"Oh, right," Thatcher nodded. "Thank you."

"I'll admit, I was a little surprised when Molly mentioned it, but I guess I just hadn't expected you two to still be together," Meredith said. "That probably makes me sound horrible, it's not that I didn't like her the handful of times I've met her, I just thought, I don't know…"

"You thought she wouldn't stay with a guy who was twice her age," Thatcher surmised.

"Well…yeah, kind of," Meredith admitted.

"I thought the same thing," Thatcher said. "Danielle had wanted us to get married for a couple of years, but I kept saying I'd been married twice, I wasn't sure I wanted to do it again. It was a good excuse, but that's all it was. I wanted to marry her, but I didn't want to tie her down when she inevitably changed her mind."

"So what changed?"

Thatcher shrugged. "It's been six years, she's had a lot of time to change her mind," he said. "And after everything that's happened, I don't know…I suppose I finally realized we've been through a lot of awful stuff together, and none of that scared her away, so maybe she wasn't going to get tired of me after all. I mean, I moved my grieving daughter and her five children, including a newborn, in with us without asking her, and she didn't leave me for that."

"Hold on, she was living with you and you didn't even ask before Molly moved in?" Meredith asked.

"I'm not saying she was thrilled about it or that I didn't get an earful for it," Thatcher said. "I'm just saying, that was almost four years ago, if she was going to get tired of me, it probably would have happened by now."

Meredith laughed. "Well, I guess that's something," she agreed. "Molly seems to like her."

"They get along really well," Thatcher said. "I, uh, I'm glad you and Molly are talking now too. I think it's good for her."

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think talking to me is helping her?" Meredith asked. "She seems like she's doing a lot better on this whole widow thing than I am so far."

"Maybe so, but I don't know if you could say the same about dealing with Lexie's death," Thatcher said. "I'm not sure Molly ever really had the time to process that, to really grieve. Her baby, Natalie, was still in and out of the hospital for tests, and she and Eric were transferred right after the funeral, and then she got pregnant and he was deployed, there was so much else to focus on. And then of course he died, and all her focus went into grieving and taking care of the kids. I think she's talked about Lexie more in the last month than she has in the whole five years since the plane crash."

"Well, I'm still not so sure I'm helping, but I'm glad if I am," Meredith said. "I'm still not sure she really likes me much, though."

"It's not that she doesn't like you," Thatcher said. "She's just…she's always been a little shy, a little bit afraid of getting hurt. She's so much more like me than Lexie ever was."

"What do you mean?"

"Lexie was very much Susan's daughter, at least in personality," Thatcher said. "She had more friends than I could possibly keep track of, people were always calling, friends showing up after school, staying out at all hours. She didn't always say the right things, a lot of times she was the definition of socially awkward, but she was definitely never afraid to just walk up to someone and start talking to them. Susan was like that, it's how we met."

Meredith raised an eyebrow curiously.

"It was a few months after your mother and I had separated," he explained. "I threw myself into my research, spent hours and hours in the lab. There were nights I didn't bother going home. I didn't want to talk to anybody, I was pretty well shut down. And then one day I was sitting in the cafeteria at lunch, and this woman just sat down across from me and started talking. I think I probably said three words the whole time, and at the end, she said something about that she'd see me again tomorrow. And sure enough, she just started showing up and sitting with me at lunch. She told me years later she'd just thought I looked like I needed a friend. That was Susan, and in a lot of ways, that was Lexie."

"She certainly didn't take no for an answer," Meredith agreed.

"No, she most certainly didn't," Thatcher agreed. "Although, just a head's up as your kids get older, it took me a very long time to realize that Molly was the quiet one, but she was actually a lot better at getting what she wanted from me and her mother. She just didn't yell about it like Lexie did, so I didn't see what she was doing."

"So you're saying I should be more worried about my sweet little three year old than I should be about my sassy, back-talking six year old?"

"You're going to worry about all your kids, Meredith, all the time," Thatcher said. "I'm just saying, don't think you're getting off easier with a quiet one."

"Well, if karma's really a thing, I'm pretty sure the teenage years will do me in," Meredith said.

"Oh?"

"My mother may not have batted an eyelash, but I'm not absolutely ready for any of my kids to come home in a pink hair, black clothing, angry attitude phase," Meredith said.

"Pink hair?"

"You missed a lot in those teenage years," Meredith pointed out.

Thatcher sighed. "I know," he said.

"I didn't mean it like that," Meredith said quickly.

"No, no, it's alright," Thatcher assured her. "I know I wasn't there, and I can't change that. And I don't know if there's a way to apologize for that, I've been trying to find one for the last ten years and I haven't found it yet."

"Maybe that's our problem," Meredith said.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure," Meredith said. "It just sort of occurred to me right now, ever since that night I showed up on your doorstep, we seem to be circling around the same thing. We just get hung up on the past and we get stuck there. But you're right, we can't change that. I can't go back and make you fight for custody, you can't go back and change the fact that I grew up with an indifferent mother and no father."

"No, you're right, we can't change that," Thatcher said.

"So maybe we should stop trying," Meredith said. "Maybe we try something new."

"What do you suggest?"

"My childhood wasn't great. You weren't there, and I resented you for that," Meredith said. "Maybe let's just both agree that those things happened, and we can't ever change them. So you stop apologizing for them, and I stop having to try to forgive you. I'm not a kid anymore, and you're not the man my mother left. Let's put them behind us, and just be ourselves now."

"You want to start over," Thatcher said.

"Maybe not over, exactly," Meredith said. "I know we can't entirely forget the past. But maybe we start with an open mind. I'm not looking for a father anymore, and you don't have to be looking for another daughter."

"So what are we then?"

"I don't know," Meredith said. "I don't know what label we use. That sort of thing used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. Maybe right now we're just acquaintances who meet for coffee. Maybe down the road we're friends, or even some sort of family again. Just…see where it goes, no pressure this time."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Please bear with me over the next few chapters - there are a lot big storylines percolating here that will be built up and explored, and a lot of developments will be happening in a relatively short time period within the story, so if it seems like things are shifting around a bit from chapter to chapter, hang in there, I promise we will get there in the end!

* * *

"So…"

Meredith looked up from the clipboard where she was signing the kids into daycare to find Molly leaning against the counter, watching her expectantly.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Don't 'what' me," Molly said. "How did it go?"

"Oh, um, it was alright," Meredith said. "I mean, kind of awkward for a while…I guess I expected that, though. After all, we hadn't talked in five years, and a lot's happened in that time. But it was okay, I think we…"

Molly frowned in confusion for a moment before shaking her head. "Oh for heaven's sake, Meredith, I don't care how your meeting with Dad went," she interrupted. "I saw him when he got home, he seemed fine, so I'm sure you two talked about whatever you needed to talk about and you'll do whatever it is you two want to do moving forward. That doesn't concern me."

"Then what are you talking about?"

"Friday night, duh," Molly said. "The date with the hot surgeon? Come on, Meredith, don't leave a girl hanging."

Meredith laughed and shook her head. "That went fine too," she said.

"Just fine?"

"It was good," Meredith said. "I had a good time."

"That's it? That's all I get?" Molly asked. "Where'd he take you?"

"He cooked for us," Meredith said.

"He cooks?" Molly asked. "Meredith, you might just have something there."

Meredith smiled. "It was a nice evening," she said.

"And after dinner?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Molly, we're standing in a daycare center surrounded by three year olds," Meredith pointed out.

"And just where you do think those three year olds came from?" Molly asked with a knowing smirk. "I'm guessing _after dinner_."

Meredith stared at Molly incredulously for a moment before she burst out laughing, resting her hand on the counter to steady herself.

"Molly…"

"Fine," Molly conceded. "If you don't want to tell me, I'll back off."

"There's nothing to tell," Meredith said. "He made dinner, we ate, and then we just talked until he drove me home around two."

"You stayed up until two in the morning _talking_?" Molly asked. "Oh, Meredith. That's a little more than a backseat of the car fling. You're totally falling for him."

"I am not."

"You are," Molly said. "And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. You're allowed to feel that way."

"So if I told you that he had a friend who I wanted to set you up with, you'd be okay with that?" Meredith asked skeptically.

"Does he?" Molly asked hopefully.

"No," Meredith said, shaking her head. "You're supposed to not be okay with it, that's what makes this argument work for me."

"Meredith, we talked about this last week," Molly pointed out. "I would be more than happy to be dating again, assuming you could find a guy who wasn't scared off by a widowed mother of five very demanding children."

"Some guys like kids," Meredith said.

"Yeah…well, mine are more of a handful that most," Molly said. "Between the therapist appointments for the dead dad thing, my obnoxious in-laws wanting to spend all their time with them, not to mention the obscene number of doctors' appointments Natalie has every month just for maintenance…"

"Is she sick a lot?" Meredith asked curiously, glancing over her shoulder at the playroom, where the seemingly-healthy little five year old girl with strawberry-blonde curls was running in circles with another child.

Molly hesitated. "Well, I told you about that disastrous last visit Lexie made," she said. "How my baby was so sick in the hospital?"

"Yeah, but obviously she survived that," Meredith said. "She's seemed so healthy the couple of times I've seen her here, I guess I just assumed that was all behind you."

"In some ways, it is, but in a lot of ways, it will never be behind us," Molly said, getting a curious stare from Meredith. "How much do you know about pediatric organ transplants?"

* * *

"I think this paperwork is going to kill me," Amelia complained, dropping a file onto the table in the middle of the doctors' lounge before slumping down in a chair.

"Department budget time isn't for another three months," Alex pointed out, taking a sip of his coffee as he looked up from the journal he was reading.

"It's not the budget. The budget I can handle, that's once a year," Amelia said. "It's these stupid new resident evaluation forms Minnick's insisting we fill out on a daily basis. Daily, Alex. And have you seen them? They're _pages_. Seriously, I'm going to spend all my time writing evaluations, and most of them are going to say the exact same thing over and over again."

"You should try the Alex Karev method," Alex said, pushing his folder across the table.

Amelia frowned as she opened the folder and flipped through a stack of papers, each with the word "adequate" scrawled across them.

"You know you're going to get called in to talk to Bailey when you turn these in," Amelia said.

"Whatever," Alex shrugged. "Look, if someone does well, I tell them right then and there. If someone didn't do well, I tell them right then and there. There's no benefit to me writing it down every damn day."

"Amen to that."

Alex and Amelia looked up as Maggie walked into the room, a bit surprised to find her speaking to them so freely, as she'd been decidedly frosty the last few weeks.

"I take it you're not a fan of the new eval system either," Amelia said.

Maggie shook her head. "I mean, I agree that the annual evaluation schedule might not have been enough formal feedback," she said. "Maybe doing them quarterly would be better, or even monthly. But every single day? It's overkill, and it's just going to get repetitive and anything useful is going to get lost in the shuffle. No one has time to write constructive evaluations on a daily basis, not with all the other bureaucratic crap we have to do. The last thing we need is more busywork."

"Are you going to say something to Bailey?" Alex asked.

"What? And risk getting suspended like Meredith?" Maggie asked. "Not a chance."

"Maybe I should just get a stamp made," Amelia said, pausing for a moment to glance down as she heard a phone start ringing. "You know, 'see last week' or 'I already told you' or something like that."

Maggie shook her head as she pulled out her phone and frowned before silencing it.

"Not someone you want to talk to?" Alex asked.

"It's my mother," Maggie said.

"Ah, the avoiding of a mother's calls," Amelia said. "Now that I can relate to. Does yours think you've completely screwed up your life like mine does?"

"No," Maggie frowned. "My mother's very proud of me."

"Of course she is," Amelia said. "Hey, did she ever get that boob job?"

Maggie glared at Amelia. "I don't know," she said curtly. "I guess I'll find out in two weeks, since she's coming to visit."

"I thought you liked your mother," Alex said. "Why do you look scared of her visiting?"

"She wants to stay with me," Maggie said.

"I thought you got a one bedroom apartment," Amelia said. "One that's barely furnished, as I recall."

"It's temporary," Maggie said defensively. "Just until I find something nicer that I like."

"Right, but how does your mother think she's going to stay with you? You don't even have a couch for her to sleep on."

"You didn't tell her," Alex said knowingly. "You never told her that you moved out of Meredith's house, did you?"

"I might not have had a moment to mention that detail, no," Maggie admitted.

"Why wouldn't you tell her?" Amelia asked.

"Because she was so worried about me when I moved out here," Maggie said. "She thought I was opening up this huge Pandora's box by tracking down my biological family, and she was so convinced I was going to get hurt. But I knew it was the right thing to do, and when I was living with Meredith, it was like proof of that, like I'd found something meaningful out here."

"And now you're afraid of what?" Amelia asked. "That she's going to be disappointed in her daughter, the chief of cardiothoracic surgery at one of the best hospitals in the country?"

"You don't know my mother," Maggie said. "She doesn't care about the professional stuff. I could have the most prestigious job in the world, make a ton of money, get all the awards…but if I'm not successful in my personal life, then she'll still think I've failed. And that will make her think that _she_ failed somehow."

"You've never disappointed your parents, have you?" Amelia asked.

Maggie hesitated.

"Welcome to the real world, Pierce," Alex said. "Everyone disappoints their parents at some point, it what's kids are good at. Your mother will get over it. Or, you know, you could go see Meredith tonight and you two could talk things out, and then your mother never has to know."

"I thought you were going to drop that," Maggie said, standing up from the table. "Besides, even if I did make up with Meredith, if I moved back in, you'd be back on the couch."

"Why me?" Alex asked. "You're the one with a perfectly good house you could go back to if you'd just talk to your husband."

Amelia rolled her eyes. "It's his house, not mine," she said. "You're the one who owns half an apartment. Just because you're too scared to talk to your ex ever since you want all batshit crazy and beat up her buddy."

"I am not afraid to talk to Jo," Alex said. "She just doesn't want to talk to me. She's avoiding me."

"And what would you say even if you did talk to her?" Amelia asked. "She can't buy you out of your half of the apartment."

"Three-quarters," Alex corrected.

"What?"

"I own three-quarters of the loft," he said. "Jo didn't have enough to even cover the down payment on a resident's salary."

"Right, well, my point is..." Amelia frowned as she looked around the room. "Hey, where'd Maggie go?"


End file.
